Monday, March 7, 2011

learning


This shit is hard, son!!

I'm not talking about relaxing and reading and waking up whenever I want to, or drinking coffee in bed and taking naps. That's all easy. The hard part is opening my mouth and letting decent Spanish pour out. Well, actually, not "Spanish" but "Castellano." [with their double L's sounding like ssshhh - Caste-sha-no] That is what they speak here in Buenos Aires. It's basically Spanish with a different accent, conjugations and vocabulary. NBD, right?

Not entirely a big deal, on a good day. On these days when I get the chance to talk to nice people they like to tell me I speak very well. Maybe they're just being nice, who knows.

On my worse days I can't understand or speak worth a SHIT. Someone will be speaking to me for a while and I just wait and pray that I don't hear that inflection in their voice at the end of their statement that connotes a question. I'd rather just look like the intelligent, pensive, good listener. I don't like the part when they ask me a question and I grin like an idiot and ask them to repeat themselves while I scramble to translate what I want to say in my head from English to Spanish (which is NOT a good thing to do).

Everyone has always told me, (I've even told my English students myself sometimes), don't think, just speak. WTF?? I know I should trust my gut and what I've studied already a bit more, but, the shit that comes out of my mouth sometimes is already insane when I'm TRYING to speak correctly, who knows what the hell would come out of my mouth if I let er rip!

I'm a pretty impatient person, so if I could just wake up and have this be done and me be fluent that would be great. But #1 that's not possible, yet... #2 I'd miss out on the "learning experience." You know all those sayings about finding your way and all that stuff. I remember I had a Carebear suitcase when I was little that said "getting there is half the fun." Damn bears. Making me feel bad about not being patient enough. Easy for them to say, I don't have Cheer Bear here to guide my way and this ain't Care-a-lot.

Nevertheless, I know I will get there, and I will share my ridiculous flubs and mistakes along the way.

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