Sunday, February 28, 2010

finally!



At last, females have the answer to the male sock-in-the-crotch. Oh, no, wait a minute. We already have the Wonderbra, and an assortment of impostor padded bras... In fact, as a flat chested woman I can tell you it's pretty hard to find bras without some sort of added padding. Why in the world would I want my tiny boobies to be their natural size and shape when out in public? Gross!!

Well, I guess now we have an additional answer to the male sock-in-the-crotch, are you excited? It's called the Booty Pop! For serious. A great new way for women to make their asses project that perfect shape that all men want.

Forget the fact that you have to spend your savings on at least a week's worth of new underwear at $28 a pop, (yes, love the pun). At least I would guess you'd want a week's worth, one pair wouldn't get you too far, that surfboard flat ass would rat you out on day two.

Forget that you don't give a shit about making your ass look bigger and more perfectly shaped in jeans, skirts, dresses, etc. - because you SHOULD care. Why aren't you caring?

The well-being of these companies depends on you thinking that something's wrong with you, so you better start doubting that self worth of yours. Because after all, it's not about just being ourselves and looking the way we want to look, it's about striving for the unachievable norm that society has created for us.

Still not sold? The panties come in fun candy names like black licorice and blueberry gumdrops. And what grown woman doesn't love fun, silly, girly childlike names for their underwear? I have a pair I named Rippy McSwirly Rainbow, because, I mean, even though they're in tatters, because I don't give a fuck, they still deserve a cutesy name to brag about when I'm having underwear-clad pillow fights with all my sexy girlfriends.

Thursday, February 18, 2010

how to date



This picture was taken from a 1938 Dating Guide for Single Women. In a series of suggestions on how to hold your date's attention, it makes many assumptions. It assumes exactly what men want to hear, see and talk about. It also assumes that women should give a big shit about all of those things.

I ask, why not talk about what interests you and try not to anticipate what a man wants to hear? Maybe he wants to talk about my style or where he buys his clothes. Maybe he wants to talk about a coffee table he decorated with his initials in Bud Light bottle caps. (in which case, Check please!)

The point is that I shouldn't have to anticipate what someone else wants to talk about just to please them. Women have always been the pleasers of the world. What is so wrong with talking about what we care about? Men have done it their whole life, why not us, too?

Saturday, February 13, 2010

valentine's day


In honor of Valentine's Day I googled "angry" and this was the image I liked the most.

Love beams, sparkles, hearts & sunshine to you & yours on this special day!

Love always,
Jenna & this angry black guy

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

about sarah palin



Now I know she's a woman and I'm a feminist so that means I should love and support everything she does.

As my good friend Mattie once said emphatically at a restaurant table in Mendoza, a little drunk, holding a tortilla chip in each hand, "NO!"

This woman is a puppet of the conservative party in every facet. She doesn't speak from her heart, gut or even her head. I doubt she was even the one who wrote those notes on her palm. It could've been Bill O'Reilly (of DO IT LIVE! fame), or Glenn Beck or maybe the devil himself. Alright, I'm not that anti-conservative. Well, yes I am but I went a little far with the devil comment so I retract it.

The point is, this woman can dress herself up like a tough cookie and say tough things like "you betcha" and "hopey changey," but it's all a show. Like when she says she's in favor of women's rights and then poses with her daughter on the cover of a magazine, each holding their respective babies with the title reading "We're glad we chose life!" I'm sure a lot of woman would say the same thing if they were paid an absurd amount of money to pose for a magazine and make motherhood look like the most breezy, rewarding experience any woman could imagine.

Well unfortunately for Mrs. Palin she doesn't realize that defending women's rights should mean defending a woman's right to CHOOSE. Not coercing and shaming girls away from abortion if that's what they want. Mistakes happen, just ask her daughter Bristol. Girls and women should continue to enjoy the benefit of making their own decisions regarding their bodies.

Girls and women rarely seem to have a say in what they choose to do with their bodies.

Sex before marriage? What a slut.
Waiting to be married for sex? What a prude.

Getting an abortion? What a monster.
Keeping and raising a baby? She really fucked up her life, didn't she? Goodbye, youth.


Sarah Palin is not the woman to change this dialogue, she would exacerbate it. It's like she's not even thinking like a woman, but as a pawn of the Republican party. It's all hollow rhetoric, I don't even know what the fuck she IS in favor of seeing.

You can't just stand up to a microphone with your hair done up and make guns with your fingers and wink and think that will get you to the White House. Or can you? I guess we'll have to see.

Monday, February 8, 2010

making amends

For Christmas I got a letter from an ex boyfriend whom I had not heard a cricket's fart from in the past 2 years or so. Well, I guess I shouldn't be so quick to say it was to me. I was actually grouped together with my larger gaggle of friends, all of whom he really only knew superficially.

It was not a pretty break-up. At least on my end it wasn't. He called one night out of the blue and coldly told me we couldn't continue our long distance relationship. This was harsh, but the salt in the wounds was his calling me out on my shortcomings in the relationship and then not responding when I tried to call him for more explanation the following days. I have not spoken to him since that night. I found out he was with someone else via Facebook. Nothing like using the internet to avoid tough conversations. I was pretty broken up about it. He was my first love, I cursed the ground he walked on for months. And then I got over it.

He sent this letter to a mutual friend of ours for him to pass along to the rest of us. And so one night after my friend received it he read it to me over the phone.

I tried to keep from laughing out loud at the haughty tone. I did this unsuccessfully as I couldn't help but burst out randomly at his painstaking attempt at decorum throughout the letter. (But here I am with a holier-than-thou tone, too. ...I digress...)

He made mention of his "one regret" in life which would be disappointing all of us collectively. As if his presence in my friends lives was so powerful it ripped their hearts out to have him disappear unexpectedly. His letter was an indirect apology to me, I assume. It was implicit, I guess? A cowardly way of acknowledging his wrongdoing by being broad and general. I had already made amends with it some time ago, but to receive a letter like this after absolutely nothing from him was sort of a slap in the face. It's like bombing one house and then years later apologizing to the entire country. Thanks, but, uh, we don't even remember which house you fucked over.

I found it especially funny that his "one regret" in life was not knocking up his young girlfriend before either of them finished college and betraying his immaculate image as faithful and self-righteous. Woopsie-daisy!

But lucky for me his one regret, though it seemed like the end of the world at first, has turned out to be an incredibly good turn for me. There's a quote that says something along the lines of "the sting of pain and suffering lights the strongest fire underneath you to succeed, rather than a well-meaning compliment." If it weren't for what happened between us I would never have done the traveling I've done, experienced the amazing things I've been able to experience over the past 2 years. That pain was the best thing that ever happened to me. It's what thrust me into my studies to finish school and my honors thesis, to start 2 great jobs and follow my passion.

Mostly I just think the letter was more for him than anything else. Now that he's had time to accept his life he wants us all to know how great he is doing. He wanted to prove to us, (and himself), that everything he's done is not a mistake. That he's done well for himself and his new family. And it was relatively convincing. I guess I would rather him be happy than anything else, despite any shit I give him here. His happy life in many ways is mine too. I wouldn't trade or change what happened between us for anything in the world. Because if I did he wouldn't be where he is right now and I wouldn't be where I am.

Sunday, February 7, 2010

Charles Barkley Golf Swing

This has absolutely nothing to do with feminism. At least I don't think it does. I just LOVE it