My boyfriend and I are moving into DC together in June and our future landlord's name is Guang Xu. I'm not sure he's a person so much as a Broadway musical title. Haven't we seen this musical before? Like back in 1980?
Guang Xu! Starring Olivia Newton-John!
A love story about a boy and girl from two different worlds! Guang Xu where time stops and the magic never ends!
Men: Thank you for holding doors open for me sometimes.
However: Please do not insist on creating a really awkward situation in which we are both inconvenienced because you insist you have to open the door because you are a man and that is what you are supposed to do because I am a woman. Please do not pretend like there is any imperative or justified reason anymore to hold the door open and INSIST a woman go ahead of you other than for you to stare at her ass as she walks in front of you.
Sometimes I am carrying a lot of stuff in my arms (boxes, groceries, anvils, multiple bowling balls, several dozen paperweights, bags of sand, etc.) and you hold the door open and let me pass. That is really cool, thank you!
Sometimes I hold the door open for multiple strangers to pass through into a building and you stop, reach above me and hold the door and insist that I pass under your arm to go through the door. You look at me like I'm insane and you're ready to challenge me if I give any sort of hesitation on this. Seriously, I've had men INSIST I let them hold the door. As though their penis would simply melt off if they let me hold a door for them instead. Why the fuck do you need to do this? The door is not made of burning coals and I am not made of paper. You should just thank me and continue through the fucking door. It's not 1800. I can physically handle the amount of effort it takes to hold a door open for a long period of time. I don't need my smelling salts. And I don't need you to make me feel feminine, my vagina and my personal gender identity help me with that.
Thank you for listening. Have a good day. Really, please, I insist.