Friday, November 13, 2009

casey affleck is a spanker

I saw this trailer very recently, it's for the movie "The Killer Inside Me," starring Casey Affleck and Jessica Alba.



The movie takes place in what seems to be a town in western America during what I would approximate to be the 1950s or 60s. Casey Affleck plays a cop. This is the perfect setting and role for him because he can really showcase his mumbled and confusing voice with a southern drawl.

The most jarring part of this movie, though, doesn't seem to be Affleck's voice. It's actually the bondage/rape-turned-sexy scene.

This is one of those films that will just reinforce the growing idea that women really do like to be pushed around when it comes to sex. All you have to do is hit them hard enough and they will snap out of their whining and realize how much they really want it.

Pretty disturbing thought, huh? And they say rape has nothing to do with sex...

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

warning - disturbing


So porn can be pretty bad stuff. I don't know if you noticed.

I am deeply disturbed by this. So much for looking for porn a woman can enjoy. A majority of what you come across in the internet porn world involves embarrassing, shaming, humiliating, shitting on, and otherwise, annihilating women. And take a closer look at the image above - this is what women deserve. I could put my fist through my computer right now.

We wonder why our culture is so perversely obsessed with shaming women. We wonder why so many "normal" men rape women. Well, it's because that's what women really want. Jesus Christ that's disgusting.

It's funny, because early today I was reading about a report from the Daily Mail stating the unlikeliness of women being raped - rather, it's their willing submission to the effects of alcohol:

Dr Adam Burgess, from the University of Kent school of social policy, said rumours about the prevalence of date-rape drugs were little more than an urban myth.

This led young women to underestimate real risks of alcohol misuse, which can include impaired judgment putting them at risk of sexual assault.

'The reason why fear of drink-spiking has become widespread seems to be a mix of it being more convenient to guard against than the effects of alcohol itself and the fact that such stories are exotic - like a more adult version of "stranger danger".'


Once again, somehow, this is our fault. Deluded with false hopes of a dangerous and exotic experience with a man we don't know, we consume alcohol in the hopes of being taken advantage of. It has nothing to do with being surrounded by men who smile upon these convenient situations. The men have nothing to do with this at all. In fact, we would probably find a way to rape ourselves if we could, just to get the experience we shamefully and secretly hope for. WHAT?

It's these images, and these reports that reinforce the mistreatment and degradation of women. Period.

Monday, October 26, 2009

Oklahoma abortion


Ooooklahoma where they don't want any a-bor-tiooons.

OK is at it again, in another attempt to shame women seeking abortions. They are now forcing every woman seeking an abortion to fill out a dossier, ten page document, answering questions about her relationship to the "father," etc. In addition, to continue the echo of shame, they are posting the names of these women on a website, along with their information, for the enjoyment of all the finger-pointers and gossip-enjoyers.

For some reason, it seems like the conservatives of the mid-west, or, the mid-west, believe that if given the opportunity every woman would have an abortion. It's like abortion is some self-satisfying, pleasurable activity that women really get a kick out of.

That must be why Oklahoma is fighting so hard to keep women from getting abortions. God forbid a woman be allowed to do something she enjoys. Except that WOMEN DO NOT ENJOY ABORTIONS. It's astounding to me to think that these conservatives can parade around under the title of Pro-Lifers thinking they are fighting the evils of premarital-or otherwise forbidden-sex. As though the women seeking abortions ought to be donning black hooded capes and carrying scythes. Because it's obvious that the antithesis of Pro-Life is Pro-Death.

Having an abortion already carries its own scruples for most women. I can't think of anyone who would said it's an awarding experience. It is a difficult decision and a personal battle that WOMEN are asked to make and to fight. For many women it is a trying and saddening experience, for others it is no more than an inconvenience, a necessary evil, if you will. But the underscore of this entire discussion is the fact that it is a personal decision which should be left entirely up to every woman who is faced with it.

Are men looked at as murderers when they have a vasectomy? Or other women when they have a hysterectomy? If someone does not want to have children that is their business and nobody elses.

Here's some advice for the pro-lifers in OK - If you are so upset about an abortion, why not have a baby yourself? If for nothing else to make up for the "void" caused by that singular abortion. I would warn you that you would have to have a lot more than one child to make up for all of the abortions that have taken place in the past decade, let alone centuries. But don't stop there, have children to make up for the millions of women who have lost their lives in makeshift abortions prior to 1972. That is your choice.

Friday, October 16, 2009

cosmetic surgery is sexy


I will admit that I've never seen this show. I can't imagine why I wouldn't want to with ads like this!

Obviously, a very popular show, as the prevalence of plastic surgery continues to rise. This type of show, and these types of ads are further glorification of the gruesome alteration of a woman's body. But don't men get plastic surgery, too? Yes, of course they do. But how sexy and appealing would it be to have a man in this type of TV ad? Stitches on his calves, or across his pecs. That wouldn't sell shit.

The woman in the ad is clearly not the average woman who would be going in for this type of surgery. Why would perfection need to be altered? For that matter, why would any woman need to be altered?

This is not the face of cosmetic surgery. I've never been a witness to this type of surgery, but I'm fairly certain it would not involve a woman standing in red heels with longer-than-average legs. Not to mention the fact that she is not under anesthesia, nor are the male doctors in scrubs.

The premise just seems like a bit too much. A woman needs a man to make her feel more attractive. I can't say that I'm immune to this type of thinking. I have my own insecurities, for sure. But these types of shows just reinforce the same ideas that are already floating around incessantly in our brain, despite our protests.

Female Patient - "Hi, I'm a very attractive female, can you make me even more attractive?"
Male Surgeon - "Of course I can. And maybe afterward, we can have sex."

Thursday, October 15, 2009

are you kidding me??


This is an ad for Ralph Lauren. Or an attempt to make women everywhere pull their hair out because they are physically unable to make their head bigger than their hips.

The model, Filippa Hamilton, was recently fired for being "overweight" and "unable to fit into their clothes." Filippa is 5'10'' and weights 120 lbs. That gives her a Body Mass Index of 17.2. Anything below 18.5 is considered underweight.

I would be curious to find out exactly how skinny advertisers and companies want their models to be. Maybe, once they come within reaching distance of death by undernourishment and they're lying in their hospital bed with little ability to move or speak, this would suffice for a good model. They could always just photoshop the feeding tubes out.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

the feminismo herself


I want to write down a few excerpts from The Feminine Mystique, the Betty Friedan classic. This is mostly so I don't forget them. Sometimes you dog-ear books and then forget all about them. Hopefully this won't happen to me. Anyways, here are some of the best parts (according to me) -

pg 95
When Susan B Anthony & her women captains collected 6,000 signatures [in favor of women's suffrage] in 10 weeks, the New York State Assembly received them with roars of laughter.

pg 123
[The Freudian theme] provided a convenient escape from the atom bomb, McCarthy, all the disconcerting problems that might spoil the taste of steaks, and cars and color television and backyard swimming pools.

pg 164
A girl may learn certain surface skills and activities of the feminine role, but she will be thought ungraceful and unfeminine if her efforts toward femininity are too clearly conscious.

pg 192
...the state or quality of being mature; ripeness, full development...independence of thought and action - the quality of being fully human. Which is not quite the same as femininity.

pg. 227
(in an interview with an American advertiser in the 1960s)
Friedan - Why doesn't the pie-mix ad tell the woman she could us the time saved [from making the pie from scratch] to be an astronomer?
Advertiser - It wouldn't be too difficult...but no. The client would be too frightened. He wants to sell pie mix. The woman has to want to stay in the kitchen- and we show him how to do it the right way.

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Quiver lip, quiver

Religion confuses me.

I was recently reading about Quiverful families. They are a growing phenomenon of fundamentalist Christians, especially in the midwest, who derive their name from the Bible. They treat their children as arrows in a quiver, the more arrows in the quiver, the better the chances of spreading the teachings of Christianity. These are the families with 10 or more children. These high volume families are meant to achieve several things - a larger population of Christians, a stronger fight against the evils of society and the stretching and unimaginable fatigue to the mother's reproductive system - (vagina).

The evils they fight include:
- divorce
- adultery
- abortion/contraception
- internet pornography

All of these, of course, have to do with sex. So, with this I'm lead to believe that abundant and constant sex is perfectly fine - if you are married, not taking birth control or using a condom, or looking at mrskin.com while you are having said sex.

The father of the family, often militaristic and diligent in his faith and its execution, is the leader. Their traditionalism traces itself back to the Bible where the man was, of course, the provider and ruler of the family. This anachronistic way of living reverts the woman onto her back, once again, as she is used as the producer/storer/etc. of each of the 10? 15? children in her husband's family.

Now, I did the math, and if a woman has 15 children, that equals over 11 years of pregnancy. I've never been pregnant, but I have known some women to be sick (vomiting, dizzy, SICK) for each of those 9 months in succession. And yet, the women of these families are still not deserving of the title of "leader of the family." (I guess to them, a penis is sort of like a scepter that's given to you at birth)

So in the article I read, one of the family members was going into the Marines. Here is where my confusion really sets in -

Sex (with people you're not married to) = baaaad
Killing people in the name of God = perfectly acceptable

????

Maybe I need to revert back to my WWJD bracelet I used to wear in middle school for guidance. So what would Jesus do in this situation - either he would go to war and get shot immediately in his attempt to "turn the other cheek." Or he would kill a slue of foreign men and go home to have sex with his wife over and over and over again until they had to swim through the babies in his house to find air and safety. Yep, that sounds like Jesus alright.

Sunday, October 4, 2009


Alright, not all of my posts have to be angry & "bitchy."

Here is the proof: I had a lovely weekend.

I enjoyed the hell out of the movie Blade on Friday night. This was the first time I saw this famous Wesley Snipes gem. Yes I do realize it came out 11 years ago, I'm not the biggest movie buff. I think I spent too much of my childhood/adolescence staring into the distance and having really awful haircuts. That leaves no time for movies.

Saturday was super-productive, switched to winter clothes now & packed away my summer stuff, or at least a lot of it (dork). I don't want to have to go through too much when it's time to start packing for South America in <2 months.

Saturday evening I went to my first swing dancing lesson. Awesome. I danced with so many characters - mostly awkward older men. I'll give you a few shining examples.

Rick Moranis -
This guy was an inch or two shorter than me with glasses and a nice blue dress shirt. I guess he was around 40? I'm bad at guessing age.

I commented on how the music was slower than I thought when we started dancing. He didn't respond, not even with an "uh-huh" for reassurance. So I repeated it in a different word order. Still nothing. I thought to myself, am I talking out loud? I decided after careful though, yes, yes I did speak out loud. A few seconds later he commented on how much slower the music was, slower than he had expected.

He had two moves - we move forward, back, forward, step out, he spins me, I spin back, repeat. Next move is a little more complicated - we end up side by side with our arms somehow interlocked, I lean into him and then he pushes back and spins me out and I spin back. He told me that was his special move, so that when people ask me how he was as a dancer I could say "wow! he was fun!"

I spent most of the night averting my eyes from his whenever he was in my immediate perimeter which seemed to be pretty often.

Stinks -
This guy was sweet. He was probably around 50 or so. He had on a loose fitting button up shirt like he was dressing up on vacation. He taught me the Charleston. His BO was so pungent and sour it almost seemed like it would make a good cooking smell. You know how some things smell so terrible and taste so good? Unfortunately for this guy, the taste was probably as bad as the smell and god knows I wasn't going to find that out for sure. Bottom line - sweet but sour.

Asian Wonder -
This guy was on fire. His dancing was really fluid, everyone thought he was an instructor, his dance card was full the whole night. I was dared into dancing with him, which I took up. He spun me like crazy. It turns out he is not an instructor, he just loves to dance & he's good at it. He's also an improviser and said that as long as we were both moving at the same time it worked. I didn't know if that would work in my case, but either way he lead extremely well and I didn't end up on my face at any point so it was great.

Victor
-
Oh geez. Little Asian man, age 60(?) and the top of his head came up to my eyes. He found me on the side and asked me to dance, I said yes. We proceed to "jerk" about, his hands holding mine and moving in a punching motion. I was just hoping he wouldn't make me hit myself in the face like a cruel sibling joke (stop hitting yourself, stop hitting yourself).

His eyes darted all around, looking at me every 8th or 9th glance.

He asked my name and when I told him Jenna he was like "what name that?" Your mom's invention?"

I could not decipher this the first time, so I replied "my mom's name is Janet!"

"NO, no! Your mom invention."

I told him it did exist before she named me Jenna, it was Arabic.

He said that I don't look Arabic, I agreed, we go on jerking arms.

He said he came there every weekend as his exercise for the week. I'm assuming he didn't actually take the classes that went on prior to the free-dance we were enjoying. I used context clues such as him spinning me like people spin the Wheel of Fortune. He grabbed my hand, moved it quickly to the left and let go, letting me do the rest of the work. All the while his eyes continued to dart, to the other couples, to the band playing, to his next victim, to Rick Moranis?

Saturday night - we got back home & I stayed up with Dusty laughing about the possibilities of Newman's Own dressing, like African American Newman's Own & even Zombie's Own - tastes like brains.

"Haven't you seen me on the bottle with a sprig of mint behind my ear & a toga for Newman's Caesar and Caesar light dressing?"

Sunday was also very productive. Most of my lesson plan is done for the week & I'm ready to collect some serious Dine Out $$$ this week.

:D

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

UK Douche


The vice chancellor of Buckingham University, Terence Kealey, spoke recently about the "perks" of being a professor in an article in the UK Times Higher Education.

Normal girls - more interested in abs than in labs, more interested in pecs than specs, more interested in triceps than tripos - will abjure their lecturers for the company of their peers, but nonetheless, most male lecturers know that, most years, there will be a girl in class who flashes her admiration and who asks for advice on her essays. What to do?
Enjoy her! She's a perk. She doesn't yet know that you are only Casaubon to her Dorothea, Howard Kirk to her Felicity Phee, and she will flaunt you her curves. Which you should admire daily to spice up your sex, nightly, with the wife.


When women became upset with his comments, he responded that this article was actually (surprise) a joke!

I guess I just didn't get it. But that's probably because I'm too busy trying to get a dick in my mouth than pay close attention to anything that has to do with using my mind.

Friday, September 25, 2009

where do i begin?


Every so often, when the subject of feminism, or women's rights comes up among my friends and I, there is some cringing. Most of my male friends are aware of my stance on women's rights, and, though they may not say it out loud, (all the time), I believe they think I'm full of a lot of hot air. Women have it way better now, I don't know what the big deal is. You can't hate all men (because that's what feminism is about, right?). I'd like to direct your attention to the movie in the picture. Though it pains me to have to promote this movie in an effort to get my point across, fuck it, it'll feel good to ream the hell out of this misogynistic bag of SHIT.

The opening sequence of the trailer begins with a girl, in a bar, kneeling in front of a turtle's tank (what this is doing in a bar, I'm not totally sure). The lead male character, Tucker Max, walks up beside her and kneels, too, asking her something along the lines of "what are you doing?" And she responds, smiling, "talking to the turtle." To which he says "is he telling you to kill that fat chick behind us, cause that's what he's telling me." The camera then pans over to an overweight girl sitting at the bar. The turtle girl stands up and walks away in agitation as Tucker calls to her "what?! Fat girls aren't real people!"

The movie is a cornucopia of slams against strippers, whores, ugly girls, pretty girls, fat girls, virgins, sluts. Basically, if you have a vagina, you are a target. I am not even mentioning, and haven't the time to detail all of the racist remarks regarding black people and Mexicans.

Protesters have popped up across the country against this movie. Women, men and everyone in between seem to have issues with the themes in this movie. But, in a Q&A session of the screening of the movie in Raleigh, NC, Max pleads an excellent case when he is asked to address the issue of rape culture:
“Fucking rape sucks, dude,” Max said. “It’s, like, not a joke, and I feel like [the protesters'] hearts are probably in the right place, to be honest. But I fell like they’re fucking it up, man, because what they’re doing is really kind of devaluing the seriousness of an actual crime. . . . Dude, I mean, the discussion about where consent lies and doesn’t lie is an important one, and should be had, but this is not the fucking forum. And, uh, and that’s never been an issue for me, so, I don’t know man, I feel like if that’s an issue to you, that’s great, and you should pursue it, but pursue it with the people who it needs to be pursued with. And not with me.”


It is nearly impossible to separate this man's beliefs with his actions. He may state in these conferences, his aversion to the mistreatment of women, but the quotes in his movie, (which is based on his autobiographical sexual accounts), do not seem to mirror this: “Get away from me or I’m going to carve a fuck hole in your torso.”

This is the type of ammunition many unstable, (and "stable"), young men are looking for right now. Not only is this movie being released and promoted in this country, this is an arena for men, (and women?), to not only watch the mistreatment of women, based on a true story, but also to openly laugh at these downright terrifying words against women.

The worst part is that this guy is not the only one out there, he was just fortunate enough to be able to write a successful blog, book, and now a movie and make a ridiculous amount of money off of being a dick to every woman he meets.

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

right direction

I had a moment last night on the metro, a good one.

I was standing & reading & I looked up at Woodley Park/Adams Morgan and got this strange sensation that I was exactly where I was supposed to be at that moment. I don't know that I've ever gotten this before, but it was very comforting.

Life may be nuts right now, but hopefully this might mean it's on the right track.

Monday, September 7, 2009

1960 parenting


I was reading an old parenting book from 1960 yesterday. Not sure if my mom or grandmother read this at any point in their lives, they may have. Lucky for me my mom & grandmother are tough bitches. Nevertheless, I knew this book would be full of gems...

On the topic of masturbation it says that this is an unfortunate thing that adolescents do that they should feel ashamed of. However, it should clear itself up as they get older. Apparently masturbating is something you "get over" as an adult... I wish I had read this book sooner. Now I know there's definitely something wrong with me.

Of course the book addresses the difficulties associated with boys being called "sissies." It discourages one boy who enjoys playing mostly with his older sisters over the boys in his neighborhood. In order to keep up appearances and ensure that he is a proper and normal boy, it's preferable for him to play with the boys and develop a more combative relationship with his sisters than to maintain his current friendly relationship with them. We wouldn't want people getting the wrong idea that a boy would prefer to play with boys rather than girls. [It's a damn shame we can't just let kids do whatever the fuck they want.]

I haven't even mentioned the fact that the entire book avoids any attempt at gender neutrality. Every child is addressed as "him."
In order for him to develop interests and measure his ability, you must allow him to be creative. As for the girls, one section offers advice to a young girl who is angry with the position of her gender, and takes this anger out on men. It implores this girl to keep her thoughts to herself, if she shows a disagreeable nature she will never be popular which is very important. She is better off than her grandmother ever was, so what is she complaining about?

I don't know about you, but my problems are solved. I'd much rather be popular than concern myself with equality. It's never gonna happen, so why not just keep my mouth shut?

Monday, August 24, 2009

feeling unmotivated


I really don't feel like doing shit lately.
Ton of work to do at work - don't wanna do it.
Shit to pack - don't wanna.
Books to read - don't wanna.
I'll get out of it, just coming down from an internet binge. Have you ever felt super-ambitious and you start looking up a bunch of stuff you want to do and then you're like Jesus this is overwhelming!! Too much internet make Jenna sad and inadequate.

I was reading a little bit about Betty Friedan and her life. It's intimidating to want to make such a big impact on society, she had her work cut out for her and she didn't even know it. Or at least I don't think she did. If you want to make a difference you have to be willing to work hard and you have to be comfortable with who you are.

I'm going to go home now and do nothing. :)

Friday, August 14, 2009

homeless

Every day I walk down the street of the richest area of NW, DC, to get to work. I pass Pink, the Mayflower Hotel where I once saw Danny DeVito & Rhea Pearlman, and Burberry.

And every day there are strategically placed homeless men sitting with their backs against the store fronts holding ragged Starbucks cups, jingling loose change toward each passerby.

It's a strange dichotomy, but one you expect to see in any city. If I were poor, this is probably where I'd go to ask for money, too. Although, after days of rich white people sneering at me as they pass, or pretending they don't see me as they walk quickly by in their Armani shoes and tailored jackets and khaki slacks, I would probably choose another corner.

You would think people who were dripping with money should have an understanding of world issues like poverty. Wait, no you wouldn't think that, never mind. But why not? Why the fuck not?

Would it kill them to drop a dollar or hell, even a hundred dollar bill into their cup? Certainly not. But it would mean the world to a homeless person.

But they'll buy drugs!
They'll buy alcohol!
I don't want them using my money for dirty things!

What the fuck ever. You're probably already using your money for these things, anyway. Or your sons & daughter are, perhaps. If I were homeless, I'd probably want to put myself in another state of mind on a regular basis. Bodily sustenance? Hell no, whatever makes me go quicker would be fine with me.

This is a particularly harsh post. Let me lighten this up by saying I sometimes will give the homeless men food I have in my bag when I walk by.

Today, all I had was a fruit leather. You know those little "fruit snacks" you get from trader joe's that's chock full of fiber and leaves an awful aftertaste. I decided not to give it to him.

I imagined his reaction if I had chosen to bestow him with this leather.

"...thank you...for burdening me with this BULLSHIT"

Wherever you are right now, sir, I promise I'll try to have something better for you on Monday.

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

email to Indonesia


Here's an email I sent to my buddies John & Mattie in Indonesia. I feel like more and more of my friends are in other parts of the world. Pretty soon I just may have to join them.


I'd like to find out more about that site that John was making arrangements with. Once you find out what the cost includes we can think about whether or not it's a good idea. I talked to my friend from Sao Paulo and it turns out she's going to be in Spain during the time we'll be in S. America! :( So we don't need to stay in Sao Paulo if you're not interested. Not a ton to see there and it's a bit sketchy from what I've heard.

I've been thinking [less so about this than about our trip] about moving to S. America for a couple of months to practice my Spanish, etc. I may try to make some connections with people through this website I found (Expatriates Argentina) while we're down there.

I have also lowered one (of many) of my student loans which will help me save money. Hell, I'm going to pay for this shit for the rest of my life anyway, and I'd never take back my education so fuck 'em! Interest doesn't scare me! :)
I also should start teaching for CASA again soon, we have a meeting tomorrow night. How has teaching been for you guys? I'm sure at this point you know a lot more than me, but teaching has taught me how little I know about the English language, lol!

This email is all over the place, I am chock full of caffeine and am completely without direction right now. I've had a ton on my mind lately, but who doesn't have that problem?

We've talked to Jamie via gchat & email and she seems to be doing great! She's had some of the pangs of homesickness but she's holding strong so far, I'm super proud of her!

My dear soon-to-be New Yorker, Jeffcott, leaves on Friday. A Columbia law student with a goatee, can you imagine? He's about as excited as he can get about anything in his life. We've got a place to stay in NY now! :)

Well I'm winding down and trying to get the [beep] out of this place and sit on the metro for an hour. Can't wait for my move to Bethesda, I'm looking at about 2 weeks now. I hope Pearl & Bea Arthur handle the transition well, I'm sure it's nothing my lovely new roommate can't handle. :)

I cannot WAIT for you guys to get back, it will be here so soon, i know it!

And - oh YES! We got your package you sent back in April!!! Dusty loved, loved, loved the blow-dart-contraption. We've got holes all over our dining room wall. I love my wrap and Meagan's excited about her scarf. Haven't gotten Katya hers yet, but not to worry, I will see her soon. The skin-whitening ad was particularly disheartening but comical. Thank you soooo much! It could not have come at a more perfect time.

I will talk to you soon. Give Mangly my love!
-Jenna

Thursday, July 30, 2009

wow

I am completely floored by this song for some reason.

I imagine it's the imagery it creates of a woman as a robot, made only to please whoever needs/uses her. Could be that the beat is just kickass. All of the above.

Clicky --> Wow-e-wow-wow.

Thursday, July 9, 2009

metro

I rode the red line home late the other night after a show in Arlington. The train stopped at Fort Totten and everyone on board was told to get off to take a Free Shuttle downstairs to the next stop.

Slightly inconvenient, but understandable given the horrendous crash last month.

I walked down to wait in line for the bus, a large crowd was forming already. I see a middle-aged woman standing in front of a Metro employee giving him an earful.

"It's almost midnight and we're all waiting around here!? Metro is fucking worthless!! *obscenities* *expletives* ...

I realize the Metro employee isn't having a conversation so much as providing a Metro-uniformed-representative-soundboard for this woman to unload on. I feel for the guy.

Unexpectedly, she drops the conversation and crosses the street, pulling out her phone and holding it up like she's taking a picture of the crowd waiting for the bus. How she will use this evidence I'm not quite sure.

People are being assholes about this. Metro was poor before the accident, now they're being sued by everyone which means even less money. How much is "less money?" Less than zero, or boat loads of debt.

I do my part to help Metro now by smiling at the employees. I would do this even if there wasn't any turmoil because:
A. I like Metro
B. Many of the workers are older black men, and this is one of my favorite demographic groups in this country. I imagine all of them as Aesop, waiting to share fun and colorful tales with me which also teach me a life lesson.

Tuesday, June 30, 2009

literal joking

Alright, I have a bone to pick with all of you people out there who think it's funny to take sayings literally.

For example:
I say - I was so tired, I was sawing logs last night.
Asshole - Well, now, where are all of these logs? *chuckle, chuckle*

I'm getting annoyed at having to feign laughter with you people. I wish you would have some respect for yourself and everyone around you and knock it off. You know I'm not being literal, please don't make things uncomfortable.

Friday, June 19, 2009

Lack of Patience

Maybe this is not a particularly strong time for me right now in the area of patience, but, I have been more annoyed then usual in the past few nights.

Before I go on, I need to reiterate my love for Latin American immigrants, both documented & undocumented. They are a beautiful people.

With that said, I get annoyed as fuck when it comes to the machismo displayed by many male immigrants. The anthropologist in me understands that it is a part of their cultural upbringing. The feminist in me wants to go ape-shit when they patronize me.

Throughout the night when I'm in the school to teach I constantly feel various eyes on me, and I'm not trying to flatter myself, the men do this to all women, both comely and homely. They greet you, "hi teacher," with a flirting smile and allow you to go ahead of them up the stairs after they insist on holding the door for you.

You then, as a woman, are forced to proceed up the stairs with the infuriating humiliation of knowing they did this to get a better eye-level view of your ass as you ascend.

I often wonder how they would react if, when they asked how I was, I responded "bloated and on my period." Or when they comment on how great my ass is in Spanish I respond back in Spanish, "hey thanks, you can't even tell I just farted?"

Again, a beautiful people, but sometimes my patience is thin.

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

ruined dream


Awesome dream last night.

I was at work when someone came around and started shutting all of the office doors, including mine. I was curious and feeling that boldness we all have in dreams so I cracked the door to find out what was going on. Al Franken walked past in a suit to our main conference room.

An office mate who was trapped with me asked who the man was. I explained the controversy in the Minnesota elections as best I could since my mind was preoccupied with the possibility of meeting thee Stuart Smalley! (I don't have to dribble the basketball fast, or run to the hoop before everyone else...)

I wandered out into the hall outside of the conference room where the door was open and a meeting was taking place. Everyone around me looked like they were pretending to work on something important with clipboards and serious expressions, so I joined in.

I managed a few peeks here and there and by the time I finally got a full view of the room and everyone at the table I noticed who else but my arch enemy... Gene Simmons! I don't know how that bastard made it into a meeting about feeding America's hungry children, but I'm sure it had some self-supporting skirt-chasing agenda behind it, or hell right in front of it.

I woke up after that. You'll never ruin my dreams again, Gene.

Monday, June 15, 2009

Meh


I'm afraid I gravitate toward emotionless, passionless robot-men. They're extremely intelligent, don't get me wrong. Econ majors, Columbia-bound types, but wrought with complete indifference.

'I mean, we could hang out, or not. I like you...or do I, I'm not sure. Maybe we could like date or something for a couple of months, or not, it doesn't matter to me I go where the wind takes me.'

They could tell me my parents died and that I should water my plants in the same exact tone.

At least they make for interesting case studies if nothing else.

Sunday, June 7, 2009

controlling society

I had a great class the other night.

Last week was Religions of the World week in my class and we were discussing Christianity (and its 34,000 divisions). One of my students raised their hand and said that he grew up as a Christian in Guatemala. He always thought to himself that religion was just a way for people to control a society, a way of outlining rules they thought appropriate to keep people in line.

I had to hold back my applause.

I love my students, and I especially love teaching them how to question things. I'm not trying to convert the religious, not at all. I just love to see their appreciation when they begin to understand other religions and traditions. Or when they begin to understand the lessons they were taught growing up were perhaps not the absolute truth. Maybe the needles of our moral compasses are not set to true north. They are set instead to what others assume should be true north. It might not be enough to change how we act, but gaining the knowledge is at least a start to something bigger.

The students may be more valuable to me than I am to them.

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

being angry

When I get really angry it makes me laugh. Not immediately, but much later.
I was annoyed for no reason today. Anything and everything seemed to pluck my nerve no matter how benign.
I walked past a usually quiet woman's office and in a matter of seconds several things ran through my head. I had just been telling myself as I walked through the hallway, "oh Jenna there's no reason to be annoyed, see look in this office, you have no qualms with this woman." But when I looked in she was making a terrible squinting face to see her computer. Mostly because she is 7 feet tall and hunched over in her desk and probably needs eyeglasses. None of this seemed to quell my aggravation. Her squinty face pissed me the FUCK off.
Obviously looking back now it's hilarious. No wonder people have to fight the urge to laugh at people who get so angry. It's so out of place and strange. I mean, I know what it's like to be that pissed but I'm glad I can laugh about it after the fact.
All in all today was full of hilarity. And now Bea Arthur has made a bed on my work bag and is meowing and purring every time I look over at her. Life is good.

Saturday, May 23, 2009

female comedians

It's interesting to me that female comedians never seem to be as good as male comedians. I don't think it's a matter of inherence but of how we've been trained to think about what should be appreciated. Female comedians say the same hilarious things that men do, and yet so many of them are criticized or hated for no tangible reason.
I've tried to figure out why so many people hate Kathy Griffin, Margaret Cho, Lisa Lampanelli, etc. Men are just as vulgar if not more so and yet women are the ones who take the heat. I myself am a victim of my upbringing as I don't typically find a lot of female comedians to be funny. Hard to believe how strong some influences can be over you without even realizing it.
I'm sure eventually femininity will no longer be such a factor and we can all just laugh at one another.

Thursday, May 21, 2009

secrets

I, like most people, am very fascinated by things like PostSecret
where people can air out their deepest most hideous/beautiful confessions. I'd like to think that everyone out there has at least one secret if not hundreds. I think it's one factor that keeps everyone different, proof that there's always more to be learned.

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

still might move

Okay, it's been over a month and I'm still thinking about moving. That is a good sign. Sometimes these thoughts come and go but this one is sticking around. Maybe my trip in December will solidify my plans. Or maybe it will deter me entirely. We shall see...

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

patsy cline

I find it unfortunate that so many of Patsy Cline's songs were about surrendering her man to another woman. Patsy was so much better than that.

If I could go back in time and be her producer I would write a song called "Meh" and have her sing that. It would be about how this guy she loves probably isn't all that great anyway. He may talk a lot about what a noble person he is, but Patsy doesn't need to be with a hypocrite. She's better off alone, free as a bird with the world at her feet.

During my time travel I would steal Beyonce's "All the single ladies" theme and have Patsy do some type of hand gesture toward her crotch in the music video. You know the one where you straighten your arms and bring them down in a swift motion in front of you and say "suck it."

She would be too much woman for any man to handle. And if any man did decide to be brave enough to be with her, he would know better than to ever cheat on her.

Monday, April 13, 2009

I think I'll move

I thought for most of the day about moving to Argentina to teach English. The more I think about it the more I want it.
What is there to hold me back, really? Family, friends, a familiar culture, yes. But that will all be waiting for me when I come back.
As much as it excites me it equally scares me to think about dropping everything and going. I think I'll go back to Buenos Aires in the fall again and test the waters. If I get the same feeling I got when I was there before I'll do it. If not, there's always something else to explore, or somewhere else. :)

Thursday, March 26, 2009

heartbeats

I'm guessing the song Heartbeats by The Knife is referring to a one night stand that lasted longer than expected. An affair between 2 people that should end but there's too much chemistry to stop it. It reminds me of a personal situation, the song is totally hot.

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

women

I was going over the 3 waves of the Women's Movement in class the other night and became pretty frustrated. These are the types of situations which really test my ability as an anthropologist. It's hard to step back and understand that everyone has a different point of view and we all grow up in different situations even if we share a culture.
The students in class come from all over, Cameroon, the Dominican Republic, El Salvador, the middle east... So it tries my patience when I go over these subjects with a checkered audience like this.
I tend to lean to the left when I'm teaching, (politically, not physically), so I slip in facts like how women still make 3/4 of what men do who perform the same job.
This is still not good enough, it's still not viable proof. I then bring up the NBA & WNBA comparison.
"How many of you watch the WNBA?"
One student answers, "I watched it by accident the other day."
Of course the class explodes with laughter, even I feel the urge to chuckle a little.
This, to me, is proof enough of just how ingrained sex discrimination is in this culture.

We say things like "he cried like a little bitch" "quit being a pussy" and most people don't think twice about what this means. We grow up learning exactly where we belong and we are expected to stay within this parameter. As women we need to step over these boundaries, that's why I can appreciate "controversial" figures like Madonna. Because despite being a "bitch" and being "ugly" and "old" now, she has never apologized for being who she is, a woman who doesn't listen when people tell her to be quiet.

This jumped to a lot of random subjects, but you get the picture. Women have come a long way and have a long way to go.

Friday, March 20, 2009

witnesses to hunger

This project really amazes me.
40 impoverished women in inner-city Philadelphia are given cameras to document their lives. They put a face to hunger and struggle. They personify neglect and despair and cast a light on a piece of society that many people have been too fortunate to see (including myself).
I hope this project finds itself in cities across the country in the next decade.

www.witnessestohunger.org

Thursday, March 19, 2009

It's sort of terrifying to think of just how much there is to learn about out there. While I teach I often find that even the subjects I think I know really well I barely know at all.
I wonder how long it would take to truly be an expert at something. And at that point since you're an expert, was it even worth it? I mean now you know all there ever is to know about sunflower seeds but you don't know shit about ice wedging.
I think I'm happy following in the path I'm in, knowing a tidbit of useless information about a variety of subjects. I'll be a professional surface skimmer for as long as I can.

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

hmmm

so does it make me a douchebag that i'm blogging now?
like people give a shit about what i think.
i feel like it does for some reason, but i'll get over that...

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

good news

All staff meeting today with Bill & Debbie Shore.

I've been slightly nervous, wasn't sure what to expect. However they will not be doing any layoffs at Share Our Strength and I am thrilled. In fact, we've actually been able to grant out more money than usual due to an overwhelming amount of individual donations!

So even though sponsorship is not as high as it could be and companies are reluctant to join right now, at least the generosity of individuals is keeping us in the clear and helping thousands of kids get the food they need.

And on the (even) bright(er)side Anheuser Busch will be partnering up with SOS for Taste of the Nation. So let's all grab a pack of Hoegaarden and get completely obliterated all in the name of ending childhood hunger!

http://taste.strength.org/site/PageServer?pagename=TOTN_homepage

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

some more bitching

Okay another point for tonight.
This has nothing to do with feminism.
I am getting a new computer soon. And I'm thinking to myself this is such bullshit that we have to constantly buy new shit. Why not have something we can keep for 20-30 years? Cars. Computers. iPods.
I realize that Apple and the car companies need to continue to generate business. Ha! Especially the car companies. But... Christ I don't know where I'm going with this. I don't have a solution of any sort I'm just bitching. There has to be a better way, we're just too set in our cultural dog-eat-dog, next-best-thing mentality. Don't expect me to make any suggestions though, I'm just another whiny douchebag to add to the list of complaining ne're-do-wells. :P

computers and self beating

This is my 2nd fucking attempt at posting a blog today. Thanks to my computer, the one from earlier is lost forever.
God, I'm getting ready to apologize for bad-mouthing an inanimate object. I actually feel guilty for calling my computer the piece that it is. That just goes to show how much of a woman I truly am. We would not be women if we weren't loaded down with the inherent guilt of generations.
So I'm sorry computer. I'm sorry that you will never know just how sorry I am and how much I love you in spite of whatever I say. If I were a man I may have already beaten your screen in.
Ew that felt wrong to say, this has taken a frightening turn, I'm done for tonight.

Friday, February 27, 2009

need to recharge

It's the 27th! It's got to be a good day, it's my lucky number.

I think my impatience with my class last night was more a result of my feeling burnt from two semesters in a row. Really I'm just whining for no legitimate reason, I have had students in the past who get up at 4 or 5, work until 6 and then go to class from 7 to 9. This same student I use as an example here is the one who cooked an amazing meat and vegetable dish for the graduation party one night. Where does she find the time? The energy? And I'm complaining?

Sometimes I forget just how hard it is to understand another language. Spanish has been very tough for me, I know English is tough for them. I just have to try to put myself in check before class until the end of the semester. It's not their fault I'm tired, they still deserve the best teacher possible. Shake it off Kippy!

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

during class

Teaching really does allow for constant enlightenment.
Sometimes I think of the coolest shit when I'm teaching, things I can't really devise in my own head because it's normally clouded with everything all at once.
Yesterday I got into a discussion with my ESL class about the 2nd amendment. After we started discussing people's fascination with guns and violence I thought about the reasoning behind this; movies, cartoons, video games. I decided then and there while teaching that it's best to blame society. You can't blame one single person or group for the way a society thinks, there are too many moving parts that go into it. You can't blame the kids, can't blame the parents. If we lived in a country where that type of thing was not valued then it would be more likely that people would be less inclined to use violence as a means to an end.
(I'll quote Ron Soloman here, that douche-)
Not a sermon, just a thought.

mind control

I recently read that thinking happens to you, it's not always something you do.
Very true.
I wish I could come up with a way to control my thoughts, it's a lot harder than monks and cult leaders make it look.

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

no mistakes

This is a promise to myself that I will do my best to avoid sociopaths in the future. All I hope is that I'm not a magnet for them.
But of course I say that and in a few months I will be right back in the same position again. Isn't that always how it works? We tend to repeat our mistakes. Do they have to be mistakes though? If they help us grow and eventually make us a better person, than we can just call it an experience.
To me a mistake is when you are writing an e-mail for work to the head of a major company and you type in the greeting "Dear afternoon" instead of "Good afternoon." It's too late! I already sent the e-mail! God DAMMIT!!
That's a mistake.
A split-second screw-up.
Also a true story of mine.
I digress.
Relationships, no matter how terrible or how fucked up, I think, should always be thought of as experiences, not mistakes. Some are good, some are bad. But hopefully we learned something from it that will make us or the other person hurt less the next time around.

same old shit

Maybe it's because I'm not in a place of any power, but why are people always so scared to take any risks at all? (This all coming from a scaredy-cat)

We should change these pictures.
No we should keep them the same.
But I think it would look better if we had one picture on each side to make it more cohesive.
Careful! You're making waves, I think people are looking at us.
No they're not, I'm just making a suggestio-
Shh! Lower your voice!
I'm just above a whisper right now.
I think you've said enough, we're keeping it as it always has been. *glares then leaves, offended*

I'm exaggerating, yes. But just barely. We're talking about pictures for a fact sheet, not weapons of mass destruction. Christ!!!

Monday, February 23, 2009

like telephone

You write a letter, create some sort of document which must be sent to what seems like a hundred different people. Each person normally feels the need to put their fingerprint on it and change something just to say they did. Once it comes back to you the message has nothing to do with how you began.
That one little sentence you added will not likely make a damn bit of difference.
Maybe I'm too laissez-faire but I think if we let things be a little more often they would have room to improve on their own.