Tuesday, June 30, 2009

literal joking

Alright, I have a bone to pick with all of you people out there who think it's funny to take sayings literally.

For example:
I say - I was so tired, I was sawing logs last night.
Asshole - Well, now, where are all of these logs? *chuckle, chuckle*

I'm getting annoyed at having to feign laughter with you people. I wish you would have some respect for yourself and everyone around you and knock it off. You know I'm not being literal, please don't make things uncomfortable.

Friday, June 19, 2009

Lack of Patience

Maybe this is not a particularly strong time for me right now in the area of patience, but, I have been more annoyed then usual in the past few nights.

Before I go on, I need to reiterate my love for Latin American immigrants, both documented & undocumented. They are a beautiful people.

With that said, I get annoyed as fuck when it comes to the machismo displayed by many male immigrants. The anthropologist in me understands that it is a part of their cultural upbringing. The feminist in me wants to go ape-shit when they patronize me.

Throughout the night when I'm in the school to teach I constantly feel various eyes on me, and I'm not trying to flatter myself, the men do this to all women, both comely and homely. They greet you, "hi teacher," with a flirting smile and allow you to go ahead of them up the stairs after they insist on holding the door for you.

You then, as a woman, are forced to proceed up the stairs with the infuriating humiliation of knowing they did this to get a better eye-level view of your ass as you ascend.

I often wonder how they would react if, when they asked how I was, I responded "bloated and on my period." Or when they comment on how great my ass is in Spanish I respond back in Spanish, "hey thanks, you can't even tell I just farted?"

Again, a beautiful people, but sometimes my patience is thin.

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

ruined dream

Awesome dream last night.

I was at work when someone came around and started shutting all of the office doors, including mine. I was curious and feeling that boldness we all have in dreams so I cracked the door to find out what was going on. Al Franken walked past in a suit to our main conference room.

An office mate who was trapped with me asked who the man was. I explained the controversy in the Minnesota elections as best I could since my mind was preoccupied with the possibility of meeting thee Stuart Smalley! (I don't have to dribble the basketball fast, or run to the hoop before everyone else...)

I wandered out into the hall outside of the conference room where the door was open and a meeting was taking place. Everyone around me looked like they were pretending to work on something important with clipboards and serious expressions, so I joined in.

I managed a few peeks here and there and by the time I finally got a full view of the room and everyone at the table I noticed who else but my arch enemy... Gene Simmons! I don't know how that bastard made it into a meeting about feeding America's hungry children, but I'm sure it had some self-supporting skirt-chasing agenda behind it, or hell right in front of it.

I woke up after that. You'll never ruin my dreams again, Gene.

Monday, June 15, 2009


I'm afraid I gravitate toward emotionless, passionless robot-men. They're extremely intelligent, don't get me wrong. Econ majors, Columbia-bound types, but wrought with complete indifference.

'I mean, we could hang out, or not. I like you...or do I, I'm not sure. Maybe we could like date or something for a couple of months, or not, it doesn't matter to me I go where the wind takes me.'

They could tell me my parents died and that I should water my plants in the same exact tone.

At least they make for interesting case studies if nothing else.

Sunday, June 7, 2009

controlling society

I had a great class the other night.

Last week was Religions of the World week in my class and we were discussing Christianity (and its 34,000 divisions). One of my students raised their hand and said that he grew up as a Christian in Guatemala. He always thought to himself that religion was just a way for people to control a society, a way of outlining rules they thought appropriate to keep people in line.

I had to hold back my applause.

I love my students, and I especially love teaching them how to question things. I'm not trying to convert the religious, not at all. I just love to see their appreciation when they begin to understand other religions and traditions. Or when they begin to understand the lessons they were taught growing up were perhaps not the absolute truth. Maybe the needles of our moral compasses are not set to true north. They are set instead to what others assume should be true north. It might not be enough to change how we act, but gaining the knowledge is at least a start to something bigger.

The students may be more valuable to me than I am to them.