Monday, August 24, 2009

feeling unmotivated

I really don't feel like doing shit lately.
Ton of work to do at work - don't wanna do it.
Shit to pack - don't wanna.
Books to read - don't wanna.
I'll get out of it, just coming down from an internet binge. Have you ever felt super-ambitious and you start looking up a bunch of stuff you want to do and then you're like Jesus this is overwhelming!! Too much internet make Jenna sad and inadequate.

I was reading a little bit about Betty Friedan and her life. It's intimidating to want to make such a big impact on society, she had her work cut out for her and she didn't even know it. Or at least I don't think she did. If you want to make a difference you have to be willing to work hard and you have to be comfortable with who you are.

I'm going to go home now and do nothing. :)

Friday, August 14, 2009


Every day I walk down the street of the richest area of NW, DC, to get to work. I pass Pink, the Mayflower Hotel where I once saw Danny DeVito & Rhea Pearlman, and Burberry.

And every day there are strategically placed homeless men sitting with their backs against the store fronts holding ragged Starbucks cups, jingling loose change toward each passerby.

It's a strange dichotomy, but one you expect to see in any city. If I were poor, this is probably where I'd go to ask for money, too. Although, after days of rich white people sneering at me as they pass, or pretending they don't see me as they walk quickly by in their Armani shoes and tailored jackets and khaki slacks, I would probably choose another corner.

You would think people who were dripping with money should have an understanding of world issues like poverty. Wait, no you wouldn't think that, never mind. But why not? Why the fuck not?

Would it kill them to drop a dollar or hell, even a hundred dollar bill into their cup? Certainly not. But it would mean the world to a homeless person.

But they'll buy drugs!
They'll buy alcohol!
I don't want them using my money for dirty things!

What the fuck ever. You're probably already using your money for these things, anyway. Or your sons & daughter are, perhaps. If I were homeless, I'd probably want to put myself in another state of mind on a regular basis. Bodily sustenance? Hell no, whatever makes me go quicker would be fine with me.

This is a particularly harsh post. Let me lighten this up by saying I sometimes will give the homeless men food I have in my bag when I walk by.

Today, all I had was a fruit leather. You know those little "fruit snacks" you get from trader joe's that's chock full of fiber and leaves an awful aftertaste. I decided not to give it to him.

I imagined his reaction if I had chosen to bestow him with this leather.

"...thank you...for burdening me with this BULLSHIT"

Wherever you are right now, sir, I promise I'll try to have something better for you on Monday.

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

email to Indonesia

Here's an email I sent to my buddies John & Mattie in Indonesia. I feel like more and more of my friends are in other parts of the world. Pretty soon I just may have to join them.

I'd like to find out more about that site that John was making arrangements with. Once you find out what the cost includes we can think about whether or not it's a good idea. I talked to my friend from Sao Paulo and it turns out she's going to be in Spain during the time we'll be in S. America! :( So we don't need to stay in Sao Paulo if you're not interested. Not a ton to see there and it's a bit sketchy from what I've heard.

I've been thinking [less so about this than about our trip] about moving to S. America for a couple of months to practice my Spanish, etc. I may try to make some connections with people through this website I found (Expatriates Argentina) while we're down there.

I have also lowered one (of many) of my student loans which will help me save money. Hell, I'm going to pay for this shit for the rest of my life anyway, and I'd never take back my education so fuck 'em! Interest doesn't scare me! :)
I also should start teaching for CASA again soon, we have a meeting tomorrow night. How has teaching been for you guys? I'm sure at this point you know a lot more than me, but teaching has taught me how little I know about the English language, lol!

This email is all over the place, I am chock full of caffeine and am completely without direction right now. I've had a ton on my mind lately, but who doesn't have that problem?

We've talked to Jamie via gchat & email and she seems to be doing great! She's had some of the pangs of homesickness but she's holding strong so far, I'm super proud of her!

My dear soon-to-be New Yorker, Jeffcott, leaves on Friday. A Columbia law student with a goatee, can you imagine? He's about as excited as he can get about anything in his life. We've got a place to stay in NY now! :)

Well I'm winding down and trying to get the [beep] out of this place and sit on the metro for an hour. Can't wait for my move to Bethesda, I'm looking at about 2 weeks now. I hope Pearl & Bea Arthur handle the transition well, I'm sure it's nothing my lovely new roommate can't handle. :)

I cannot WAIT for you guys to get back, it will be here so soon, i know it!

And - oh YES! We got your package you sent back in April!!! Dusty loved, loved, loved the blow-dart-contraption. We've got holes all over our dining room wall. I love my wrap and Meagan's excited about her scarf. Haven't gotten Katya hers yet, but not to worry, I will see her soon. The skin-whitening ad was particularly disheartening but comical. Thank you soooo much! It could not have come at a more perfect time.

I will talk to you soon. Give Mangly my love!