Monday, June 25, 2012

thank you, kotex!

I'd like to take this moment to thank Kotex and, frankly, all feminine products for their conspicuous and fluorescent pride.

In case you're a man or you use a diva cup, or both, I'll fill you in.

Look at the pads leaning casually and sexily against the box up there.  Pretty hot, huh?  Maybe they're trying to make us forget that they catch period blood?

The packaging for tampons and pads, (or feminine napkins if that makes you feel more comfortable, but I already said period blood once so if you kept reading after that, you should be able to make it through the rest of this okay), is reliably bright with the most neon of colors available.  Which, of course, makes perfect sense.  Because when I'm walking to the bathroom at work carrying something I'm trying to hide, it should be the most eye-catching HIGHLIGHTER YELLOW or BRIGHT NEON PINK to draw attention away from my embarrassed face.

It's also especially fun when you're pulling things out of your purse, searching for your keys, and out comes a beacon of light known as a tampon in SUN RAY ORANGE.  Hello, crowd at the metro!

Or you open a drawer to quickly and stealthily pull out a pair of underwear or a human head or whatever you're pulling out of a drawer quickly, and BAM - FUCKING PURPLE.  Must be my feminine napkin because nothing else on this earth is colored so goddam brightly.

So, thanks, Kotex, for always letting everyone know I'm on my period.


  1. I love you, Jenna.

    --Erica M.

  2. haha, I've often wondered the same thing, but loud and proud has always been my motto! I want all to know what's going on between my thighs