Monday, July 11, 2011

squid billies

Have you ever seen a haircut sooo bad it makes your blood boil with unabashed RAGE?


This is a look I have deemed the squid billie. Although, to look it up I had to type in mullet dreads to which Google rightfully corrected me, (did you mean dread mullet?, yes I did, thank you).

Unfortunately for many people in this city, the squid billie is very popular here. It is an extreme version of the classic mullet we all know and love (which is also very popular here, as you might guess, a look that screams "sex!")

These hideously misguided men have a lot to learn if they want to know how to look bad the easy, low maintenance, less-haired way. However, they do not have a lot to learn if they want to know how to look like John Travolta in Battlefield Earth.


It seems annoying as shit having a turd-cord grazing your back as you're strutting the streets or waking up with tentacle imprints in your back and a crick in your neck. GUYS!! It's so much easier to look ugly!!! You don't have to hold your hair when you go to the bathroom, you don't have to scare people from standing behind you on the bus. Who knows, maybe you might even look......attractive? I can't make any promises but I'd be willing to bet with each tentacle you cut off, an angel gets it's wings (to fly down to earth to sexually be with you).

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