Sunday, February 28, 2010

finally!



At last, females have the answer to the male sock-in-the-crotch. Oh, no, wait a minute. We already have the Wonderbra, and an assortment of impostor padded bras... In fact, as a flat chested woman I can tell you it's pretty hard to find bras without some sort of added padding. Why in the world would I want my tiny boobies to be their natural size and shape when out in public? Gross!!

Well, I guess now we have an additional answer to the male sock-in-the-crotch, are you excited? It's called the Booty Pop! For serious. A great new way for women to make their asses project that perfect shape that all men want.

Forget the fact that you have to spend your savings on at least a week's worth of new underwear at $28 a pop, (yes, love the pun). At least I would guess you'd want a week's worth, one pair wouldn't get you too far, that surfboard flat ass would rat you out on day two.

Forget that you don't give a shit about making your ass look bigger and more perfectly shaped in jeans, skirts, dresses, etc. - because you SHOULD care. Why aren't you caring?

The well-being of these companies depends on you thinking that something's wrong with you, so you better start doubting that self worth of yours. Because after all, it's not about just being ourselves and looking the way we want to look, it's about striving for the unachievable norm that society has created for us.

Still not sold? The panties come in fun candy names like black licorice and blueberry gumdrops. And what grown woman doesn't love fun, silly, girly childlike names for their underwear? I have a pair I named Rippy McSwirly Rainbow, because, I mean, even though they're in tatters, because I don't give a fuck, they still deserve a cutesy name to brag about when I'm having underwear-clad pillow fights with all my sexy girlfriends.

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