Sunday, August 7, 2011
cat yin-yang
Yaaaaaaaaaaayyy!!!! Pregnant cats sleeping the day away on my bed! Their babies are due in about 2 weeks and yes, they're both pregnant. I can't wait to have little cross-eyed siamese kittehs wandering around my apartment.
Friday, August 5, 2011
characters
God bless Argentina for giving me the things I love most in life, ridiculous situations and great characters. Teaching English here has been the most hilarious and wonderful experience in the world. Every day provides a great opportunity for some sort of awkward cultural or social faux-pas from either my students or from myself. And I get the opportunity to peer into the lives of cool normal Argentines. Here are two examples -
CEO
I'm sitting in a sweeping grand office on the 26th floor in downtown Buenos Aires. The view from the huge windows out of the office overlook Puerto Madero, a very ritzy and modern part of the city, as well as the Rio de la Plata, the river and the ports connecting the city to international trade and travel. In front of me is a thin and fit man with grey hair of about 45 or 50. He is the CEO of an Energy Company, a professional, serious, but charming man.
If you can imagine Billy Bob Thornton at his very best, (looks wise, and NOT when he was in Sling Blade UH-HUH), and ignore all of his weird behavior, (I know this is hard and I'm not doing this CEO justice, but could you just fucking try to imagine this for me?), you would have something close to the man in front of me.
Sort of like this -
He is a very advanced English speaker and is currently reading an article I've brought about a Colombian revolutionary now working in the U.S. He comes to the word "fawning" and asks me to explain it. I do and we continue for a minute or two, but suddenly, he interrupts me.
"Ball licker," he says, out of nowhere.
Now, I'm accustomed to random comments out of left field, my mother is the queen of this. This one truly surprised and delighted me. I let it sit for a minute or two, to really enjoy the moment.
"Is that what you say?" he asks, "for someone who is fawning?"
"Weelll," I say, high-pitched. I try to find better words, but all I can come up with is brown noser. So I tell him anyway, I mean he just said ball licker to me, why not?
Temper tantrum
I was a substitute teacher for a nice guy at another Energy Company for three weeks. He was about 35 with a wife, one son and another little boy on the way.
One day he showed me a picture he had with him on his phone of his son at the zoo. He was explaining to me very slowly, (his English level was about intermediate), that his wife had recently taken his son to the zoo to ride the carousel, but it turns out the zoo was closed. His son was upset. Very upset.
"This is what happened," he said, leaning over to show me a picture of his son, about 3 years old, clinging to the cage bars of the gate at the zoo, on his knees, with his head thrown back, eyes closed and mouth wide open in an obvious wail of disapproval. This was a temper tantrum, I explained. My student learned two new words that day to use for the next time the zoo was closed or something else wasn't available to his little boy.
It took me a while to realize who this student looked like. At first I thought, this guy is like a slightly less attractive version of Mark Wahlberg. And then I thought, what the fuck is wrong with you?? He is just Mark Wahlberg's brother Donnie!
And there we have it.
CEO
I'm sitting in a sweeping grand office on the 26th floor in downtown Buenos Aires. The view from the huge windows out of the office overlook Puerto Madero, a very ritzy and modern part of the city, as well as the Rio de la Plata, the river and the ports connecting the city to international trade and travel. In front of me is a thin and fit man with grey hair of about 45 or 50. He is the CEO of an Energy Company, a professional, serious, but charming man.
If you can imagine Billy Bob Thornton at his very best, (looks wise, and NOT when he was in Sling Blade UH-HUH), and ignore all of his weird behavior, (I know this is hard and I'm not doing this CEO justice, but could you just fucking try to imagine this for me?), you would have something close to the man in front of me.
Sort of like this -
He is a very advanced English speaker and is currently reading an article I've brought about a Colombian revolutionary now working in the U.S. He comes to the word "fawning" and asks me to explain it. I do and we continue for a minute or two, but suddenly, he interrupts me.
"Ball licker," he says, out of nowhere.
Now, I'm accustomed to random comments out of left field, my mother is the queen of this. This one truly surprised and delighted me. I let it sit for a minute or two, to really enjoy the moment.
"Is that what you say?" he asks, "for someone who is fawning?"
"Weelll," I say, high-pitched. I try to find better words, but all I can come up with is brown noser. So I tell him anyway, I mean he just said ball licker to me, why not?
Temper tantrum
I was a substitute teacher for a nice guy at another Energy Company for three weeks. He was about 35 with a wife, one son and another little boy on the way.
One day he showed me a picture he had with him on his phone of his son at the zoo. He was explaining to me very slowly, (his English level was about intermediate), that his wife had recently taken his son to the zoo to ride the carousel, but it turns out the zoo was closed. His son was upset. Very upset.
"This is what happened," he said, leaning over to show me a picture of his son, about 3 years old, clinging to the cage bars of the gate at the zoo, on his knees, with his head thrown back, eyes closed and mouth wide open in an obvious wail of disapproval. This was a temper tantrum, I explained. My student learned two new words that day to use for the next time the zoo was closed or something else wasn't available to his little boy.
It took me a while to realize who this student looked like. At first I thought, this guy is like a slightly less attractive version of Mark Wahlberg. And then I thought, what the fuck is wrong with you?? He is just Mark Wahlberg's brother Donnie!
And there we have it.
Monday, August 1, 2011
here's to ricardo balbin
Ricardo Balbin was clearly a very interesting and respectable man. I'm not shittin you. He was a political figure and lawyer in Argentina in the twentieth century. He was part of the Unión Cívica Radical which was an extreme leftist political group that emerged in the late 1800s. Balbin was persecuted for his political beliefs and even sent to jail during Peron's term as president. This guy was a mostly modern-day bad ass.
All of that being said, here is his statue in Plaza del Congreso.
I hope that one day if my life is noble enough that someone decides to erect a statue in my honor, they choose a better pose. Who sat down in the meeting to commence the statue design of this man and threw out the idea of "casual glance"? Let's immortalize Balbin and his strength of character by having him do what he did best, stand awkwardly and look slightly to the right. If I were Balbin, I'd have zombied my ass into that meeting and forced them to put me in a toga or SOMETHING. "No! I want horses, and I'll be on a chariot, and maybe give me a crown and have me raising my fist....I don't know, could you just have me doing something cool, mother fuckers?? I already DID my job, do I need to school you assholes on making a cool monument TOO???"
All of that being said, here is his statue in Plaza del Congreso.
I hope that one day if my life is noble enough that someone decides to erect a statue in my honor, they choose a better pose. Who sat down in the meeting to commence the statue design of this man and threw out the idea of "casual glance"? Let's immortalize Balbin and his strength of character by having him do what he did best, stand awkwardly and look slightly to the right. If I were Balbin, I'd have zombied my ass into that meeting and forced them to put me in a toga or SOMETHING. "No! I want horses, and I'll be on a chariot, and maybe give me a crown and have me raising my fist....I don't know, could you just have me doing something cool, mother fuckers?? I already DID my job, do I need to school you assholes on making a cool monument TOO???"
Monday, July 11, 2011
squid billies
Have you ever seen a haircut sooo bad it makes your blood boil with unabashed RAGE?
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This is a look I have deemed the squid billie. Although, to look it up I had to type in mullet dreads to which Google rightfully corrected me, (did you mean dread mullet?, yes I did, thank you).
Unfortunately for many people in this city, the squid billie is very popular here. It is an extreme version of the classic mullet we all know and love (which is also very popular here, as you might guess, a look that screams "sex!")
These hideously misguided men have a lot to learn if they want to know how to look bad the easy, low maintenance, less-haired way. However, they do not have a lot to learn if they want to know how to look like John Travolta in Battlefield Earth.
COUNT IT!!!
It seems annoying as shit having a turd-cord grazing your back as you're strutting the streets or waking up with tentacle imprints in your back and a crick in your neck. GUYS!! It's so much easier to look ugly!!! You don't have to hold your hair when you go to the bathroom, you don't have to scare people from standing behind you on the bus. Who knows, maybe you might even look......attractive? I can't make any promises but I'd be willing to bet with each tentacle you cut off, an angel gets it's wings (to fly down to earth to sexually be with you).
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This is a look I have deemed the squid billie. Although, to look it up I had to type in mullet dreads to which Google rightfully corrected me, (did you mean dread mullet?, yes I did, thank you).
Unfortunately for many people in this city, the squid billie is very popular here. It is an extreme version of the classic mullet we all know and love (which is also very popular here, as you might guess, a look that screams "sex!")
These hideously misguided men have a lot to learn if they want to know how to look bad the easy, low maintenance, less-haired way. However, they do not have a lot to learn if they want to know how to look like John Travolta in Battlefield Earth.
COUNT IT!!!
It seems annoying as shit having a turd-cord grazing your back as you're strutting the streets or waking up with tentacle imprints in your back and a crick in your neck. GUYS!! It's so much easier to look ugly!!! You don't have to hold your hair when you go to the bathroom, you don't have to scare people from standing behind you on the bus. Who knows, maybe you might even look......attractive? I can't make any promises but I'd be willing to bet with each tentacle you cut off, an angel gets it's wings (to fly down to earth to sexually be with you).
Sunday, July 10, 2011
slowly but surely
I'm slowly gaining some confidence here with my Spanish. It's a process and I have my good days and my bad days, but overall, I think I can start trusting myself a bit more. It's increasingly becoming easier to ask questions, for example "why are you charging so much for this taxi ride?" and the like. I was able to argue a bit with a taxi driver who clearly screwed me over. I can't say I'm winning these arguments just yet but I'm slowly getting there.
Here's another example, I took some laundry to the local Lavaderia where they wash and dry your clothes for you overnight. I brought a whopping big bag of laundry. One bag of laundry costs $15 pesos. I leaned through the small square opening at the door and gave the man that works there the bag. When he handed me my receipt he told me it would be $30 pesos. Wait a minute. Why wouldn't it be a little more than $15 pesos if it's a slightly bigger bag than average? Okay, clearly I was pushing this because my bag was stuffed to the gills, whopping, as I said before. I decided to take my chances and ask him anyhow.
"uuuuhhhh blahblahblahblahblah...." he responded. He had an Asian accent and he was speaking Spanish and all I could do was look at his teeth which were soooo bad and beyond repair that I knew I didn't stand a chance. This guy probably needed my extra $15 pesos for some constructive dental surgery in the future*. Fair is fair. I nodded as he poured my big bag into a laundry basket to prove to me just how much was stored inside the bag I brought. I nodded, said okay, and told him I'd see him tomorrow.
Lesson learned, some things balance out even when at first you think they don't. One day those chompers of his are going to shine like new**.
*I'm going to hell.
**I am an awful human being.
Here's another example, I took some laundry to the local Lavaderia where they wash and dry your clothes for you overnight. I brought a whopping big bag of laundry. One bag of laundry costs $15 pesos. I leaned through the small square opening at the door and gave the man that works there the bag. When he handed me my receipt he told me it would be $30 pesos. Wait a minute. Why wouldn't it be a little more than $15 pesos if it's a slightly bigger bag than average? Okay, clearly I was pushing this because my bag was stuffed to the gills, whopping, as I said before. I decided to take my chances and ask him anyhow.
"uuuuhhhh blahblahblahblahblah...." he responded. He had an Asian accent and he was speaking Spanish and all I could do was look at his teeth which were soooo bad and beyond repair that I knew I didn't stand a chance. This guy probably needed my extra $15 pesos for some constructive dental surgery in the future*. Fair is fair. I nodded as he poured my big bag into a laundry basket to prove to me just how much was stored inside the bag I brought. I nodded, said okay, and told him I'd see him tomorrow.
Lesson learned, some things balance out even when at first you think they don't. One day those chompers of his are going to shine like new**.
*I'm going to hell.
**I am an awful human being.
Saturday, July 9, 2011
5 months down, 5 months to go?
I'm approaching my 5 month point on the 16th of this month and it feels crazy. On one hand it feels like I've been here for a long time. On the other hand the time has flown by. Right now it's looking like I'm about halfway done with my trip here. If I can make it to December financially, I'd love to be able to finish out my class semester and get back to everyone I love in time for Christmas.
At the moment I'm trying not to think too much about my trip home, but it's hard. I feel like I have one foot in Argentina and one foot stretching several thousands of miles all the way to the U.S. I'm afraid at some point I'll be in the splits completely and then fall into the Caribbean or something really silly. How do we learn to really enjoy the moments we have as best we can, while we have the moment. It's always easy to look back at something and think, oh yeah, that was awesome. But what about when you are physically in that moment of awesomeness? It's hard not to be thinking of some other shit you have to take care of later, or that email you have to send, or that class you have to plan for, etc. I'm working on it, and just like I always say, I will get there.
Saturday, July 2, 2011
some best friends
Sometimes things happen so fast that you don't enjoy and appreciate life as much as you should. Sometimes you get so sucked into your own life and your own issues that you don't notice blessings that are constantly happening around you.
For me, in the past 2 months or so those blessings have been some really amazing buddies who traveled over 5,000 miles to see me.
I've had a lot of crazy things happening down here, both good and bad (as life tends to go). And I'm so grateful that I have friends willing to travel to the ends of the erf to see me. These friends mean the world to me and I'm so happy to have them in my life.
For me, in the past 2 months or so those blessings have been some really amazing buddies who traveled over 5,000 miles to see me.
I've had a lot of crazy things happening down here, both good and bad (as life tends to go). And I'm so grateful that I have friends willing to travel to the ends of the erf to see me. These friends mean the world to me and I'm so happy to have them in my life.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)