**Please do notice, if you haven't already, the tiled picture of the cat in my blog background. Sorry, I know the number of adorable kitty photos is gratuitous but you shouldn't be here if you don't like cats, dick.
Showing posts with label cats. Show all posts
Showing posts with label cats. Show all posts
Thursday, October 20, 2011
me and cats
I have come to realize that since I've been here I have collected a pathetically large amount of pictures** of me with cats. "You can take my men but you can never take my cats!!!" - Mel Gibson in Braveheart
**Please do notice, if you haven't already, the tiled picture of the cat in my blog background. Sorry, I know the number of adorable kitty photos is gratuitous but you shouldn't be here if you don't like cats, dick.
**Please do notice, if you haven't already, the tiled picture of the cat in my blog background. Sorry, I know the number of adorable kitty photos is gratuitous but you shouldn't be here if you don't like cats, dick.
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
sometimes i think dogs are out to get me here
Don't get me wrong, I like dogs a lot. I think I've grown to love them even more since I've been here. Every day I pass dog walkers pushing along at least 9 dogs of every size and breed together, moving like a school of fish and I think "aaaaaaawwwwwww!!!!!"
But I also think some dogs here are out to get me. They're sneaky because they know how much I love cats and how much the world loves dogs and they use this against me. They make me look like the crazy one for not joining in. Everyone's a dog lover here, this is abundantly clear. The dogs walk around with little coats and Messi jerseys in the cold weather, they're sometimes even carried around everywhere if they're small enough. There's also a dog park around every corner filled with groomed and very well trained pups.
I hope this city does not forget that it is the dogs that leave the shit on the sidewalks, at least 4 piles per block, (at least I THINK it's dog shit, I'm not good at identifying hobo shit, so it could also be that).
Also, there are enough yippie dogs here to start a small and annoying army. I sat and listened to one bark his or her high-pitched bark somewhere in the building I live in for at least an hour and a half and I thought WHY DO PEOPLE OWN THESE FUCKERS? BARK BARK BARK BARK YIP YIP YIP YIP YIP!!!!!
Another dog tried to trip me on my way across the street the other day. It's scary enough trying to cross the street here with crazed and impatient taxi drivers waiting for the opportunity to try to use a human like a speed bump. And then a dog on a leash darts right under my feet and once I recover I look at the owner who does nothing but smile an I'm-sorry-about-that-but-I-can't-yell-at-this-adorable-little-thing-can-you?? Pure evil.
Cats are cute. I promise. They're not evil, they're sweet too. And they don't try to kill you in the streets! And they only meow like crazy if they're in heat and why would anyone have a cat in heat? Maybe I'm starting to realize why people hate cats, they probably always had "heat" cats, horny females wookin per nub. Speaking of heat, to prove how sweet cats are, I took a video* of the 2 formerly pregnant cats I live with and their litter of kittens. Cats 1 Dogs 0.
*I've been told this video is long, so if you don't have 2 minutes and 20 seconds to spare and you don't want to hear me speaking Cat Lady, don't bother
But I also think some dogs here are out to get me. They're sneaky because they know how much I love cats and how much the world loves dogs and they use this against me. They make me look like the crazy one for not joining in. Everyone's a dog lover here, this is abundantly clear. The dogs walk around with little coats and Messi jerseys in the cold weather, they're sometimes even carried around everywhere if they're small enough. There's also a dog park around every corner filled with groomed and very well trained pups.
I hope this city does not forget that it is the dogs that leave the shit on the sidewalks, at least 4 piles per block, (at least I THINK it's dog shit, I'm not good at identifying hobo shit, so it could also be that).
Also, there are enough yippie dogs here to start a small and annoying army. I sat and listened to one bark his or her high-pitched bark somewhere in the building I live in for at least an hour and a half and I thought WHY DO PEOPLE OWN THESE FUCKERS? BARK BARK BARK BARK YIP YIP YIP YIP YIP!!!!!
Another dog tried to trip me on my way across the street the other day. It's scary enough trying to cross the street here with crazed and impatient taxi drivers waiting for the opportunity to try to use a human like a speed bump. And then a dog on a leash darts right under my feet and once I recover I look at the owner who does nothing but smile an I'm-sorry-about-that-but-I-can't-yell-at-this-adorable-little-thing-can-you?? Pure evil.
Cats are cute. I promise. They're not evil, they're sweet too. And they don't try to kill you in the streets! And they only meow like crazy if they're in heat and why would anyone have a cat in heat? Maybe I'm starting to realize why people hate cats, they probably always had "heat" cats, horny females wookin per nub. Speaking of heat, to prove how sweet cats are, I took a video* of the 2 formerly pregnant cats I live with and their litter of kittens. Cats 1 Dogs 0.
*I've been told this video is long, so if you don't have 2 minutes and 20 seconds to spare and you don't want to hear me speaking Cat Lady, don't bother
Sunday, August 7, 2011
cat yin-yang
Yaaaaaaaaaaayyy!!!! Pregnant cats sleeping the day away on my bed! Their babies are due in about 2 weeks and yes, they're both pregnant. I can't wait to have little cross-eyed siamese kittehs wandering around my apartment.
Thursday, March 4, 2010
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