let me tell you about YOUR country

It's amazing how much people seem to know about the U.S. here. I know because they tell me how much they know all the time. Or at least, what they think they know. A number of my students, (who haven't ever actually visited the U.S.) tell me in a exaggeratedly disgusted way that we do nothing but consume, (buy shit and eat fast food). I mostly just sit patiently and listen, because for me it's interesting to get an idea of how some people see us. Plus, there's no need for me to talk since they never ask me how it is in my personal experience, they just tell me what they already know about my country.

"You've got a lot of fat people." "Obama is an idiot." "You guys get involved in everything."

As much as I may criticize my country while I'm there, when I'm away I often want to defend my country and the people that live there. Sure, we produce a lot of shit that's bad for people, McDonald's, Coca-Cola, Ford automobiles. Sure, we consume a ton of shit. But these critics who lecture me on my country are the same people who ask their friends who are visiting Miami to bring them back clothes, shoes, computers, ipods, etc. Hell, they're just as hooked as we are.

Everyone "knows a lot" about the U.S. but many Americans can't even find Argentina on a map. I'd be willing to bet money my family still can't and I'm living here. My own dad thought, and if I'm being honest with myself, probably still continues to think, that I'm in Brazil.

on the phone 4 months after arriving

Me: "Brazil? No Dad, that's actually another country altogether, I'd need a different, special visa to--"

My Dad: *cutting me off* "Alright because Tom Brady is in Rio right now with his Brazilian girlfriend and I thought you may get lucky and spot him in the city."

Me: "I'll try to see if I can find him."

The people I talk to typically seem to be on one side of the spectrum, they hate the U.S. and what it stands for or they love it all. The parts that some people love about the U.S. are unfortunately not all the same things I love, like that we all hate our immigrants and want the rich to keep their hard earned money without paying high taxes. These beliefs are generalizations, obviously not all Americans love all of these things.

You already know I have my fair share of generalizations regarding Argentina, but that doesn't make them true for everyone that lives here. They don't all have squidbillie haircuts and mullets, they don't all lie to their girlfriends and wives about having multiple other girlfriends, not every woman has long straight hair.

If I've learned anything it's that I probably shouldn't/definitely can't generalize about other countries TO people from those countries, because if they're anything like me, they don't care for it too much. Nobody needs a lecture about how terrible their country is and how it could improve.

Except for France, to hell with those fuckers. hahaha! (is she kidding?) hahahaha...

some generalizations

Let me be clear that I love this place and the people that live here. To be honest I fucking love it here. A lot of my days are spent trying to cook up ways to maybe come back one day after I leave. I walk down the street happy as a fart in a windstorm, (or trapped in a closet, whichever makes the most sense to you). I ride the bus with the exterior of an experienced city girl, but on the inside I'm grinning like an idiot at all the random things I see as the bus floors it through several consecutive red lights.

But happy stories aren't funny. I know what my blog audience of about 3 friends wants to read. Stories of silly shit happening and pissing me off. Luckily, there's never a dearth of silly, frustrating shit here. And to be honest, I'm never quite as happy as when I cynically curse something in my head. :) [healthy]

Another PSA before I continue. Argentines are a wonderful, wonderful people. I'm being serious as a heart attack here. I love them as I love all people in the world.

Now that I've attempted to cover my ass, let me give you a few generalizations I've made about the people here. Let's take a look into the mind of the Argentine (according to me) -

Q. Where is a good place to stop and stand inexplicably while walking down the street?
A. Right here, in front of this crowd of people behind me.

Q. When is it a good time to give your opinion on something?
A. Right now, and while we're talking about it, I don't think you're doing enough with your life.

Q. What do you do if you see a black person in public?
A. Stare at them openly to the point where both should be very uncomfortable, except that I'm not at all.
*It's worth noting that there is an extremely small number of black people here. It's like a game of Where's Waldo. I feel like I'm earning points in my head when I spot a black person somewhere here.

Q. As a man, when women are walking down the street, do you believe they want to hear how hot you think they are?
A. Yes.

Q. As a woman, what do you think of other women around you?
A. Bitches.

Q. As a man, how should you wear your hair?
A. In a manner so atrocious that it could eventually incite violence.

Q. As a woman, how should you wear your hair?
A. Crystal Gayle long.

Q. What is one of your favorite songs?
A. This song