dealing with mud

Right now my mind is a little muddy and so is my spirit. Maybe I'm just suffering from after-college-reality blues. Schools fill you up with the most magical beliefs when you're there. First they get you angry when they tell you all the awful truths about past, (and current), American society (i.e. racism, corruption, sexism). Then they pump you full of can-do, optimistic energy. When you graduate you walk down the yellow brick road of idealism in search for that job that's going to help you change the world. But then you turn on the news. And right now I'm at that point where I am starting to feel inundated with negativity in the news. I know sometimes it just depends on what you read...

I read an article online today about Obama and how all of the far left progressives are fools for buying into him. That is because it turns out he was just spewing rhetoric back in 2008 and he now goes the way of passive progressive which never gets anybody anywhere.

At the same time there's another article praising Obama as the next Harry Truman, a president who's now seen as a great one but was heavily criticized during his time in office.

I saw another article about Sarah Palin and all of her haberdashery. First complaining of liberal feminists and their lack of understanding of feminism, then praising the movie "Juno" for showing an American movie where a young girl took the right path, the difficult path instead of "having an abortion and smoking cigarettes afterward for an hour." ... This woman is likely going to run for office in 2012. And in that event I'm likely going to run for my office window and leap from the 7th floor.

I'm starting to feel a little drained from all of these articles and I'm not even in any sort of position of power where I need to defend my beliefs. What the hell am I going to do when I go into that forum and need to step up my game? I'm just weary of all the bullshit. It's hard to really get a good grasp of all of the mud flinging through the air, I don't know what else to do but just sit in the middle and get muddy.

I just keep telling myself it's a long journey and it's not always going to be simple & clear. You run into a few rough patches along the way but that doesn't have to keep you from moving towards where you want to go. I've heard my share of cynics saying young people eventually wise up and abandon these pie-in-the-sky beliefs. Fuck that. Now is not the time to sit down in the middle of this path and abandon the journey.

This is just another storm along the path, this feeling of pessimism and uncertainty. When it's over and I trudge through the mud I'll be closer to where I ultimately want to be. And better prepared for the next storm.


photo by we heart it http://weheartit.com/entry/3396328

don't shave

I realize this inappropriate post is closely trailing a recent post about my boss, but... this is who I am.

Girls, how many times have you jinxed yourself out of a date? You get excited in anticipation of seeing your love interest on a particular night, you hop in the shower and shave everything but your head only to end up not hanging out with them that night. Not only is it a letdown, now you've got razor burn in places you're not really allowed to scratch in public. Son of a bitch!

I'll tell you a surefire way to ensure you don't jinx yourself next time. Let that hair grow, don't shave a thing for a while. I'll tell you why, because you always manage to get lucky when you've let yourself go to the point of lumberjack proportions. I've been there and I'm sure you have, too. Don't let it hinder your enjoyment, though. He'll get over your bush just like you will get over the patch of hair on his lower back that only gets thicker once it reaches his butt crack. You know what I'm talking about.

So let it grow out and long! If it doesn't move with a breeze it's not long enough. In other words, just keep being who you are and don't feel like you need to be something better (or smoother) for a guy. You can get rid of that hair today but it'll still grow back tomorrow. To ensure that the magic will happen, save the shaving for tomorrow, or even the next day...

my heroes

OMG, here they are, all in one picture. I did not see this moment in person, but I'm pretty sure something good happened to me while this was taking place. I just took a sip of a delicious cocoa-coffee combo that I make at work. Or I received a happy email, or I was thinking a happy thought. Life was good in that moment. :)

L to R:

I love Martin O'Malley, governor of Maryland. Not just because he's a muscly-armed dreamboat with a slightly southern twang, (my mom's Harlequin romance novels are to blame for this fixation). Also because he's an enormous champion for the large immigrant community in Maryland and for the organization I teach for CASA de Maryland. But also because he is the first governor to join Share Our Strength in making the proclamation that we will end childhood hunger in America by 2015. The man combines so many of my favorite things - muscly arms (but not too muscly, we don't need to be on the cover of Iron Man magazine), concern for the immigrant community & childhood hunger.

Bill Shore, the founder of Share Our Strength is a terrific speaker, writer, human being. I don't think I could accurately translate the respect I have for him from my head into words. He combines the perfect amount of humility and passion. He has continuously rejuvenated my idealistic views of the world despite everyone else trying to beat it out of me. He has convinced me that it's not irrational to want more for the world, to want better. What's more, better is achievable. It's okay to believe big things can happen, indeed, it's necessary. How else can we make the world a better place? We first have to believe we can do it. He has made me believe.

Jeff Bridges, first of all, reminds me of my dad, which to me is a good thing. He's very relaxed & comfortable in his own skin. He says a lot of random things and has just that little bit of aloofness that I treasure in my own father. But more importantly, despite his incredible success as an actor, he still gives a damn about the rest of society. Instead of retreating to his mansion, counting his money by the stacks and staring at himself in the mirror he seems to do what he believes in. He chooses the roles that matter whether in movies or in charities. I'm so thrilled he has joined Share Our Strength to make No Kid Hungry in America. He's deep enough to identify with the people in this country who have never known the riches he has. I can't say enough about this man. When I grow up I hope I'm just like him, (and/or my dad), charitable, humble, completely comfortable with myself, compassionate, bearded and 6'1".

Just like a masculine group of Charlie's Angels, here is a delightful group of lean, mean childhood hunger fighting machines.

creepy old men

A friend of mine went to a bar last weekend. She is single and lovely. Someone put something in her drink. She ended up in the hospital. Fortunately she was with her friends who acted quickly and took her to help. She said she suspected it was a creepy old man who was hanging out around her and her group for part of the night. She vaguely remembered him sitting next to her on a bench outside after she had been drugged and fled the bar to find a place to lie down. She knew something was wrong after she got the urge to lie down at the bar and she was right, she had been drugged.

The scary thing is that these guys aren't like vampires that only come out at night. Their official daytime job title isn't "Creepy Old Man" unless they're always movie extras in Rob Zombie films. They are "normal" guys with "normal" jobs. Presumably they interact with women every day on a regular basis. And yet their respect for women as fellow human beings is so low that they can attempt these types of stunts on the weekends and not let that affect their weekly routine.

You can say this is a one-off thing and that these men are rare, but I wonder. If they're guaranteed to get away with something like this, what would keep them from doing it? I'd say it'd be pretty safe to assume it wouldn't be respect for women.

tights

I have small breasts. There's no hiding this, really. As a woman, most of the shirts I have to choose from (that are reasonably fashionable) are designed to accent and/or highlight this feature of my body.

To be honest it's okay, I don't need a huge chest, it seems a bit cumbersome to me, really. But I am reminded pretty regularly by society that I should be ashamed of something I don't have any control over. Why not try a padded bra? Or implants?

I'm never going to be in a T.I. video and I've learned over time to tell myself that's fine.

I have come up with a solution, though, to even out the discomfort so that men, too, can share in the pleasure of bodily exposure. Men's tights. First I need to make them au the rage and then the rest is cake.

Men might judge women for having misshapen bodies, but that's the pot calling the kettle black for sure. We just can't tell because they hide in those loose boxers and jeans. A small penis can look funny on a big guy but a big penis can look equally funny on a little guy, too. We should all be able to witness this and not be left to wonder.

Tights would eliminate the need for false confidence and Ford F-350s. Men would be brought to a female's level of constant questioning and need for reassurance -

Guy A - *walks out of bathroom* Hey...does my penis look big in these tights?
Guy B - Don't worry about it! You look hot and you've got an amazing ass anyway.
Guy A - Yeah but what about my balls? Does one look bigger than the other?
Guy B - Nobody's going to be looking at your balls, man, I promise.

Who wouldn't want to hear a conversation like this between two men?

Well...?

damned if we do

...she was struck by how often the nation’s most powerful females were stranded in cab lines and late for meetings because, in heels, walking any distance was out of the question. These were working, powerful, leading women, she writes. Why did they insist on wearing heels? Sure, some women just like heels (and still others probably know their bosses like them). But there is also the reality that however hard men have it—and, from an economic perspective, their “beauty premium” is higher, say economists—women will always face a double bind, expected to conform to the beauty standards of the day, yet simultaneously condemned for doing so...

Deborah Rhode, a Stanford law professor and author of The Beauty Bias from http://www.newsweek.com/2010/07/19/the-beauty-advantage.htm

12 and Delaware

I'm watching an HBO documentary called 12 and Delaware about a crisis pregnancy center in Florida that sits across the street from an abortion clinic. It's very sad to see that so many people value the lives of unborn children over the lives of the women having these children.

Women are controlled in a number of ways. What is especially sad to me is how these centers are able to guilt women into making decisions they might not want to make in the first place. What is sad is that these women are being lied to and given incorrect facts like abortions give you breast cancer and condoms only work 85% of the time. Women aren't even given the courtesy of truth. It's apparently okay to lie to women in order to make sure they have a baby that maybe they can't afford or don't want or can't physically carry due to health reasons.

I'll be glad to see the day when women are allowed to make decisions on their own without constant ridicule and scrutiny from both men and women.