sexy ads

I guess sometimes it's easy to forget how sexual advertising can get. Or maybe it's not, I don't know.

Here are a few hilariously sexualized ads that are just pricelessly inappropriate:

This ad says: You are a woman who wants to look sexy in her jeans, comfort is for homely chicks. These jeans are best worn on a perfect, flexible body while writhing around on the hood of a classic car.
Bottom line = Put your bottom line in these mother fuckin jeans.



This ad says: If you buy this champagne a beautiful girl will help you open it in style. First we'll just put the bottle at dick-level, open it one-handed with the other hand on our hip, have some wind blow through our hair, take a picture and done. The second part of this involves you imagining that bottle of champagne is actually your ejaculating penis.
Bottom line: Drink this and you will blow a load.


This ad says: Whatever you did was wrong, but probably sexy somehow, and for that you can't be forgiven. But at least you were wearing that strangely insulting perfume. And now P. Diddy is going to maybe sexually assault you. Wait, what?
Bottom line: Wear this perfume and get punished for wearing a patronizing perfume.


This ad says: Wear this flashy, expensive suit and be attractive and a gorgeous blonde will sit next to you and rub her breasts and you'll be too cool to even notice.
Bottom line: Nice suit = boob rubbins.

the feminismo herself

I want to write down a few excerpts from The Feminine Mystique, the Betty Friedan classic. This is mostly so I don't forget them. Sometimes you dog-ear books and then forget all about them. Hopefully this won't happen to me. Anyways, here are some of the best parts (according to me) -

pg 95
When Susan B Anthony & her women captains collected 6,000 signatures [in favor of women's suffrage] in 10 weeks, the New York State Assembly received them with roars of laughter.

pg 123
[The Freudian theme] provided a convenient escape from the atom bomb, McCarthy, all the disconcerting problems that might spoil the taste of steaks, and cars and color television and backyard swimming pools.

pg 164
A girl may learn certain surface skills and activities of the feminine role, but she will be thought ungraceful and unfeminine if her efforts toward femininity are too clearly conscious.

pg 192
...the state or quality of being mature; ripeness, full development...independence of thought and action - the quality of being fully human. Which is not quite the same as femininity.

pg. 227
(in an interview with an American advertiser in the 1960s)
Friedan - Why doesn't the pie-mix ad tell the woman she could us the time saved [from making the pie from scratch] to be an astronomer?
Advertiser - It wouldn't be too difficult...but no. The client would be too frightened. He wants to sell pie mix. The woman has to want to stay in the kitchen- and we show him how to do it the right way.