ruined dream

Awesome dream last night.

I was at work when someone came around and started shutting all of the office doors, including mine. I was curious and feeling that boldness we all have in dreams so I cracked the door to find out what was going on. Al Franken walked past in a suit to our main conference room.

An office mate who was trapped with me asked who the man was. I explained the controversy in the Minnesota elections as best I could since my mind was preoccupied with the possibility of meeting thee Stuart Smalley! (I don't have to dribble the basketball fast, or run to the hoop before everyone else...)

I wandered out into the hall outside of the conference room where the door was open and a meeting was taking place. Everyone around me looked like they were pretending to work on something important with clipboards and serious expressions, so I joined in.

I managed a few peeks here and there and by the time I finally got a full view of the room and everyone at the table I noticed who else but my arch enemy... Gene Simmons! I don't know how that bastard made it into a meeting about feeding America's hungry children, but I'm sure it had some self-supporting skirt-chasing agenda behind it, or hell right in front of it.

I woke up after that. You'll never ruin my dreams again, Gene.

Meh

I'm afraid I gravitate toward emotionless, passionless robot-men. They're extremely intelligent, don't get me wrong. Econ majors, Columbia-bound types, but wrought with complete indifference.

'I mean, we could hang out, or not. I like you...or do I, I'm not sure. Maybe we could like date or something for a couple of months, or not, it doesn't matter to me I go where the wind takes me.'

They could tell me my parents died and that I should water my plants in the same exact tone.

At least they make for interesting case studies if nothing else.

controlling society

I had a great class the other night.

Last week was Religions of the World week in my class and we were discussing Christianity (and its 34,000 divisions). One of my students raised their hand and said that he grew up as a Christian in Guatemala. He always thought to himself that religion was just a way for people to control a society, a way of outlining rules they thought appropriate to keep people in line.

I had to hold back my applause.

I love my students, and I especially love teaching them how to question things. I'm not trying to convert the religious, not at all. I just love to see their appreciation when they begin to understand other religions and traditions. Or when they begin to understand the lessons they were taught growing up were perhaps not the absolute truth. Maybe the needles of our moral compasses are not set to true north. They are set instead to what others assume should be true north. It might not be enough to change how we act, but gaining the knowledge is at least a start to something bigger.

The students may be more valuable to me than I am to them.

being angry

When I get really angry it makes me laugh. Not immediately, but much later.
I was annoyed for no reason today. Anything and everything seemed to pluck my nerve no matter how benign.
I walked past a usually quiet woman's office and in a matter of seconds several things ran through my head. I had just been telling myself as I walked through the hallway, "oh Jenna there's no reason to be annoyed, see look in this office, you have no qualms with this woman." But when I looked in she was making a terrible squinting face to see her computer. Mostly because she is 7 feet tall and hunched over in her desk and probably needs eyeglasses. None of this seemed to quell my aggravation. Her squinty face pissed me the FUCK off.
Obviously looking back now it's hilarious. No wonder people have to fight the urge to laugh at people who get so angry. It's so out of place and strange. I mean, I know what it's like to be that pissed but I'm glad I can laugh about it after the fact.
All in all today was full of hilarity. And now Bea Arthur has made a bed on my work bag and is meowing and purring every time I look over at her. Life is good.

female comedians

It's interesting to me that female comedians never seem to be as good as male comedians. I don't think it's a matter of inherence but of how we've been trained to think about what should be appreciated. Female comedians say the same hilarious things that men do, and yet so many of them are criticized or hated for no tangible reason.
I've tried to figure out why so many people hate Kathy Griffin, Margaret Cho, Lisa Lampanelli, etc. Men are just as vulgar if not more so and yet women are the ones who take the heat. I myself am a victim of my upbringing as I don't typically find a lot of female comedians to be funny. Hard to believe how strong some influences can be over you without even realizing it.
I'm sure eventually femininity will no longer be such a factor and we can all just laugh at one another.

secrets

I, like most people, am very fascinated by things like PostSecret
where people can air out their deepest most hideous/beautiful confessions. I'd like to think that everyone out there has at least one secret if not hundreds. I think it's one factor that keeps everyone different, proof that there's always more to be learned.

still might move

Okay, it's been over a month and I'm still thinking about moving. That is a good sign. Sometimes these thoughts come and go but this one is sticking around. Maybe my trip in December will solidify my plans. Or maybe it will deter me entirely. We shall see...