Wednesday, May 22, 2013

the bathroom stall lady: a new chapter

As I explained before, there is a lady where I work who I have previously referred to as Bathroom Stall Lady.  She grunts, she groans, she moans.  She yearns!!  She poops.  And all of that scares me.  But she can smell fear, so I put on a brave face, wash my hands, and get my ass out of the bathroom before she comes out of the stall most of the time.

But here's my update: After a series of encounters, both accidental and intentional, I have pieced together the clues to reveal her identity.  However, since she works for another organization that shares my office floor, I still do not know her name.  Therefore, thanks to a helpful suggestion from my boyfriend,  she has been given a name: Pooping Witch.

Let me paint a picture: Caucasian woman.  Mid-40s to early 50s.  Short, spiky black hair with dark red highlights.  Burgundy lipstick.  Chalky white skin.  Mostly long gypsy skirts.  Occasionally black dress pants.  White Hanes socks pulled high.  All black, orthopedic platform sneakers.

Some recent encounters:
1.  I once entered the bathroom as she exited.  When I exited she entered again.  Probably to poop.  I dodged 2 bullets.  I'm not going to even tell you what those bullets are shaped like and what color they are.  That's for your imagination.

2. I saw her outside in the daylight one morning while I was walking into work.  Below is a file photo:


I'll keep you posted on any future encounters.  For now I'm just doing my best to learn everything I can about her.  She may not realize it but we are enemies.

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