Wednesday, January 18, 2012

too god damn clever

Life lesson learned: Don't give your number to people you don't want to hear from just to be nice. I made this mistake in DC the other night after some heavy drinking and dancing. I gave my number to some guy before I left with my friends and this is the text I get the next day:

Text 1:
"So I'm (one of) the fairly inebriated guys with whom you spoke with last night.. You were staring in the film, 'The Red Hat Drops' as I recall.."

Text 2:
"I wanted to commend you on your acting chops. My name's John btw."

#1 - I didn't talk to that many drunk guys so much as swat them away by speaking at them and then leaving their line of vision.
#2 - It's starring not staring.
#3 - This is fucking dripping with the cleverness I'm getting really tired of hearing. I mean, I guess he should get an A for effort and creativity, I suppose, but what about a "hey, we met last night, how's it going?" I don't need a re-enactment via text of what you think happened when we met.

I'd rather you cut the bullshit:
"I'm a guy you talked to last night and I was drunk and you probably were, too.. You muttered some shit about how you dropped your red hat..."
"and then you picked up your red hat like a normal person in a bar because all the world's not a stage. My name's John btw."

Even though I'd rather walk over hot coals then see this fucker again, I still had to text him back with something because I don't like to be ignored when I put myself out there:

"Hi, thanks, john! To be honest, i'm going back to north carolina tomorrow, i don't live around here, it was nice to meet you, though."

To which he replied: "word"

As if it wasn't obvious in the first texts he sent me, just so you know, this guy was white and had no business saying "word."

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