Wednesday, October 26, 2011

the least attractive

The Huffington Post was kind enough to break down the statistics I was already quite aware of, which puts both Baltimore & DC in the list of the most unattractive people in the U.S. To which I replied GET ME HOME RIGHT NOW PLEASE. May my feet have wings! Fly me back to the land of beauty!

I think it is best to look on the bright side in these situations. Sure, I'm leaving a country of beautiful, beautiful men. And I mean, they're everywhere. You're on the bus, hot guy. You go to the supermarket, hot guy. You walk down the street in the morning to go to work, hot guy. I think you get the idea. That being said, since I'm leaving to go home to one of the ugliest cities in America I should do something to cheer myself up.

First, let's just try to forget about this beautiful boludo above that came from Rosario, Argentina.

Remember that Argentina is also the country that brought us these men...

Carlos Tevez - No this is not a caveman dressed in modern sports attire. This thick-necked man was born in 1984 in Ciudadela, Buenos Aires, Argentina.

Leo Messi - Admittedly I like this guy a lot. His soccer skills are incredible, and, depending on the face he's making on the field, he ain't so bad. But this picture really confuses me. Should I be attracted to him here? Or should I be asking around to all my gay guy friends to see who wants a go at him?

Diego Maradona - One of the greatest soccer players of all time. He may be divine athletically (or was, at least back in the 80s) but aesthetically divine he is not.

Let's go back a little further so I can give myself further reassurance here.

Bartolome Mitre - Liberal President during 1860s. Wearer of John Wilkes Booth hair and Samuel Morse beard.

Jose de San Martin - Main leader of the South American independence movement in the 1800s. Crossed the Andes on horseback which sounds really, really hard. Good at being spooked by things to his left.

And here was his wife - Maria de los Remedios de Escalada - daaaaaaaaaaammmmnnnnn... Buzz, your girlfriend, WOOF.

Not feeling so bad anymore. :)


  1. HAHA. Home Alone ref = perfect.

  2. :) glad you got it even though I had "you're" there before. Buzz you are girlfriend doesn't have the same impact.

  3. Not wherefrom seras vos, but we are considered to be the Argentinians, the pretty mas of the world, as for what decis on the prominent figures of the history and the sport, I believe that it is a lack of respect, he reads a bit and probably you are going to deal those who were each of them, PELOTUDO

    1. Wow, just saw this. Que boludez, che... No disrespect to their abilities, all tremendous athletes. I don't find them attractive, there's nothing that can be done about that. They're probably not very into me, either, though. And if they find this site and get offended by what I said then I can die a feliz gringa de mierda, BOLUDO.