Tuesday, September 27, 2011

some generalizations

Let me be clear that I love this place and the people that live here. To be honest I fucking love it here. A lot of my days are spent trying to cook up ways to maybe come back one day after I leave. I walk down the street happy as a fart in a windstorm, (or trapped in a closet, whichever makes the most sense to you). I ride the bus with the exterior of an experienced city girl, but on the inside I'm grinning like an idiot at all the random things I see as the bus floors it through several consecutive red lights.

But happy stories aren't funny. I know what my blog audience of about 3 friends wants to read. Stories of silly shit happening and pissing me off. Luckily, there's never a dearth of silly, frustrating shit here. And to be honest, I'm never quite as happy as when I cynically curse something in my head. :) [healthy]

Another PSA before I continue. Argentines are a wonderful, wonderful people. I'm being serious as a heart attack here. I love them as I love all people in the world.

Now that I've attempted to cover my ass, let me give you a few generalizations I've made about the people here. Let's take a look into the mind of the Argentine (according to me) -

Q. Where is a good place to stop and stand inexplicably while walking down the street?
A. Right here, in front of this crowd of people behind me.

Q. When is it a good time to give your opinion on something?
A. Right now, and while we're talking about it, I don't think you're doing enough with your life.

Q. What do you do if you see a black person in public?
A. Stare at them openly to the point where both should be very uncomfortable, except that I'm not at all.
*It's worth noting that there is an extremely small number of black people here. It's like a game of Where's Waldo. I feel like I'm earning points in my head when I spot a black person somewhere here.

Q. As a man, when women are walking down the street, do you believe they want to hear how hot you think they are?
A. Yes.

Q. As a woman, what do you think of other women around you?
A. Bitches.

Q. As a man, how should you wear your hair?
A. In a manner so atrocious that it could eventually incite violence.

Q. As a woman, how should you wear your hair?
A. Crystal Gayle long.

Q. What is one of your favorite songs?
A. This song

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