I love my job.
Student - "I love Steven Seagal."
Student - "...like Arnold Schwarzenegger, the governator in California." I thought this was a clever joke made by one of my students until I realized the translation for "governor" in Spanish is "gobernador." This was only a mistake, he wasn't trying to be funny at all. I bet he was wondering why I was laughing at him.
Student - "I won't date a man with back hair or a man with silly underwear. He might shave his back but it will still grow back and he might say that he got rid of all the underwear but he probably has some hidden somewhere still."
*answer on a test to the question "What happens when a person becomes a teenager?" -
"When start to discover himself and get curious and pimples."
Student - "I'm 70% sure we're all going to die next year so we should do what we want."
*while handing a student a test he had to take for class* Student - "You look very nice today teacher." Me - "No I don't, here's your test."
Student - "What is the coocoo clan?" Me - "Do you mean the Ku Klux Klan?" Student - "Yes."