Tuesday, November 23, 2010

dealing with mud




Right now my mind is a little muddy and so is my spirit. Maybe I'm just suffering from after-college-reality blues. Schools fill you up with the most magical beliefs when you're there. First they get you angry when they tell you all the awful truths about past, (and current), American society (i.e. racism, corruption, sexism). Then they pump you full of can-do, optimistic energy. When you graduate you walk down the yellow brick road of idealism in search for that job that's going to help you change the world. But then you turn on the news. And right now I'm at that point where I am starting to feel inundated with negativity in the news. I know sometimes it just depends on what you read...

I read an article online today about Obama and how all of the far left progressives are fools for buying into him. That is because it turns out he was just spewing rhetoric back in 2008 and he now goes the way of passive progressive which never gets anybody anywhere.

At the same time there's another article praising Obama as the next Harry Truman, a president who's now seen as a great one but was heavily criticized during his time in office.

I saw another article about Sarah Palin and all of her haberdashery. First complaining of liberal feminists and their lack of understanding of feminism, then praising the movie "Juno" for showing an American movie where a young girl took the right path, the difficult path instead of "having an abortion and smoking cigarettes afterward for an hour." ... This woman is likely going to run for office in 2012. And in that event I'm likely going to run for my office window and leap from the 7th floor.

I'm starting to feel a little drained from all of these articles and I'm not even in any sort of position of power where I need to defend my beliefs. What the hell am I going to do when I go into that forum and need to step up my game? I'm just weary of all the bullshit. It's hard to really get a good grasp of all of the mud flinging through the air, I don't know what else to do but just sit in the middle and get muddy.

I just keep telling myself it's a long journey and it's not always going to be simple & clear. You run into a few rough patches along the way but that doesn't have to keep you from moving towards where you want to go. I've heard my share of cynics saying young people eventually wise up and abandon these pie-in-the-sky beliefs. Fuck that. Now is not the time to sit down in the middle of this path and abandon the journey.

This is just another storm along the path, this feeling of pessimism and uncertainty. When it's over and I trudge through the mud I'll be closer to where I ultimately want to be. And better prepared for the next storm.


photo by we heart it http://weheartit.com/entry/3396328

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