Sunday, September 26, 2010


I have small breasts. There's no hiding this, really. As a woman, most of the shirts I have to choose from (that are reasonably fashionable) are designed to accent and/or highlight this feature of my body.

To be honest it's okay, I don't need a huge chest, it seems a bit cumbersome to me, really. But I am reminded pretty regularly by society that I should be ashamed of something I don't have any control over. Why not try a padded bra? Or implants?

I'm never going to be in a T.I. video and I've learned over time to tell myself that's fine.

I have come up with a solution, though, to even out the discomfort so that men, too, can share in the pleasure of bodily exposure. Men's tights. First I need to make them au the rage and then the rest is cake.

Men might judge women for having misshapen bodies, but that's the pot calling the kettle black for sure. We just can't tell because they hide in those loose boxers and jeans. A small penis can look funny on a big guy but a big penis can look equally funny on a little guy, too. We should all be able to witness this and not be left to wonder.

Tights would eliminate the need for false confidence and Ford F-350s. Men would be brought to a female's level of constant questioning and need for reassurance -

Guy A - *walks out of bathroom* Hey...does my penis look big in these tights?
Guy B - Don't worry about it! You look hot and you've got an amazing ass anyway.
Guy A - Yeah but what about my balls? Does one look bigger than the other?
Guy B - Nobody's going to be looking at your balls, man, I promise.

Who wouldn't want to hear a conversation like this between two men?


1 comment:

  1. Another home-run idea! I would love to hear more theoretical conversations among men in tights